My jokes are enough to kill a lion, but no harm in knowing 10 more ways.
Microsoft Method
Develop an excellent lion and sell its cubs for a few years. And then, suddenly, stop selling the lion's cubs and start selling kittens instead. Now starve the lion.
Citibank Method
Offer the lion a free credit card, and then offer some attractive discounts on every purchase. Once the lion gets into the habit of needless spending, start applying exorbitant hidden charges. The lion will die of debt.
FBI Method
Kill any animal and then prove that it was a lion.
Newton Method
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Let the lion kill you. That's equivalent to you killing the lion.
Oprah Method
Bombard the lion with so many personal questions it will commit suicide.
Stephen Spielberg Method
Leave the lion in Stephen Spielberg's studio. It will sure be crushed under the feet of a gigantic animal.
Manoj N. Shyamalan Method
Take the lion to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist will eventually realize that the lion is already dead, and all the while he was talking to a dead lion.
PETA Method
Show the lion a few topless models advocating vegetarianism. The lion will turn vegetarian and die of hunger.
George Bush Method
Spread the rumor that the lion is hiding WMD in its belly. And then employ the army to cut open its stomach.
Michael Jackson Method
Train the lion to dance under Michael Jackson. The lion will end up breaking all its bones and die.
