I Wish I Loved Them But I Don't: Spiders

Okay...Autumn seems to have joined us here in Nebraska because since September we've had rain almost every day...which is fine with me since I love the cool weather (and Heaven knows I won't "melt".  Ha ha)!  But because of the weather changes it now also seems to be the time for Star Boarders to come into the house.  You know the ones I'm talking about...the creepy crawleys that stayed outside all summer long (which was fine with me) but have now taken an interest in finding better shelter before the winter winds arrive.  Bear in mind that I will go out of my way to save Ladybugs and moths but the line gets drawn with spiders which have been a phobia of mine since childhood.  I've even explained to my husband the deal that God and I have had for years regarding these eight-legged home intruders which is if HE wants the spider to live, DON'T LET ME SEE IT!  (Not that I want to see it if HE wants it to die, mind you!).  Needless to say, I've had plenty of dealings with them...the latest one being a few nights ago as I attempted to go out the back door (I'm a nightshifter) in order to get to work. 

Well, I COULDN'T go out that door because as soon as I opened it I came face to face with one of the largest, hairiest, and longlegged spiders I've ever seen!  And he was just sitting there between the door and the doorjam as though waiting for me to arrive!  (Yes, there's a bit of a gap between the door and the jam which is going to require quite a bit of weatherstripping before the snow arrives...but I digress...)  At midnight in a darkened hallway this spider looked like the Daddy of all Daddies, and it didn't even move when the door had been opened.  That's how sure it was of itself.  I, on the other hand, was only sure of one thing and that was that this door was being slammed shut as of NOW!!  Which I did in the blink of an eye while sending an explosion of noise through the house that surely...most assuredly...would WAKE MY HUSBAND!!  But nope.  The man who has a hard time falling to sleep if I should turn up the tv's volume a little bit slept right through this wife-made sonic boom while both cats sprang off the bed and ran for their lives!  So here I stood...all alone...in the dark...and just now remembering that a door that is shut must eventually be reopened in order to deal with the problem.  Gee...my night was getting better and better as the seconds ticked by! (I must confess that for a moment I toyed with the idea of calling in "sick" to work but with the way my luck was going, the spider would soon stomp down the hallway and eventually end up on our BED!)  So, since there really was no choice in the matter, that door was going to have to be reopened...but THAT wasn't happening until I was ARMED FOR BATTLE! 

So I quickly ran back to the kitchen (before I could change my mind) and got my trusty broom.  Then I went back down the hallway (much more slowly this time) and stood just this side of the door while watching the enemy watch me...and just waiting for me to open...that...door.  Have I ever told you that it's not a good thing to watch a lot of SciFi movies?  Well, I'm telling you now...it's NOT.  I may have a broom in my left hand but I would need my right hand to turn that doorknob putting me at a very close proximity to my enemy.  And since that enemy was not squished between the door and the frame I could assume that it could MOVE...and probably towards ME...especially if I MISSED...and made it MAD!  So I ended up doing what felt best for the situation.  I ran back to the kitchen, put the broom away, and then (sorry, Honey) woke my husband!  (Who absolutely LOVES spiders...yeah, I know...how did we ever "hook up" you might ask.  Well, thankfully he has GOOD traits, too!)  He got out of bed, walked down that hallway, opened the door, flicked the spider outside with his hand and, while shaking his head, went back to bed.  My Hero!  And how have your nights been?