Indeed, I became absolutely obsessed with her…
Me: My girlfriend dumped me, I've got no money, my dog died, and the world sucks…there's always option E.
Stranger: You've to think twice before your make up your mind, buddy! There's always a way out…yeah…way out…Get a hold of yourself! I know, you're to be in much of a mood to talk, let follow your mind but not your heart… Otherwise, you'll make a right mess of that!
Oh, God! I got an escapee in my pants. I gotta go!
Wow, it's snowing! Now, we've got some snow balls to play around…(I'm the standing one)
I can't eat anymore. My stomach is bulging.
Hua Ming(right panda): Dude, you're shot! (Have a pause for a while, chewing the bamboo)
Me: Yeah. I'm. I've been shopping with my girlfriend all day!
(Turn to Hua Ming, smiling)
You know, YenYen is so hot; she's just fall out of bed good looking….
Hua Ming: What?! Say again….
Many people become workaholic, chasing success and thus neglecting their health…Do you a favor, and go out on a high like me… A hot spring will soon set you up!
I like to glide through the ground that is covered with white snow, but mom said it won't do me any good as I may have my buttock got scratched…
Knock it off, dude, would you? Your singing is killing me!
So, just let me relax and keep my head here…Get out of my face! Leave me alone here, all right?
Didn't it strike you as curious that the panda got on the plane? 8 of my buddies are honored as Public Relationship Officers to meet everyone at Beijing's Olympic Games. They've been flown to Beijing. I too, am honored as the ambassador to fly to Japan to strengthen the relationship between China and Japan. The male who sits beside me is my private security guard to protect my safety. Hmm…he's nice as he occasionally feeds me with delicious bamboo shoots….
Hmm, that's odd because my face has put in the poster by the travel agency in Japan….
Hmm…in fact, I've dedicated my life to this country…Everything I have, I give…..
Me (I am the front panda): Tell you one thing…That hot afternoon when you were not around, one fool came in our shop. He was acting all shady. All in a sudden, he breathes in a bad vibe, and thus picking up his cell phone; he started to make a call. So, I popped him…
Mom: You did what?!
Me: I hit him with a rake. I didn't know what else to do!
Mom (surprising): What?! My goodness! Son, you're not right this time…
Me: Pardon me lol…mom!
I am standing on my mom's back, can you see me? I say, “Mom, please don't walk so fast, "coz I can"t keep myself balanced. Ooop! Mom, I'm going to fall off ……”
Right now I've the worst hangover and will never drink again! Never! Alcohol is bad!
Hey, buddy, I ain't anybody. You bump into to me and spilled my orange juice; let's bounce outside!
GuoHwa: Cool. Now we're buddies. Where to, buddy?
Me: Well, uh….go watching Kung Fu Panda….
GuoHwa: Why Kung Fu Panda not Spiderman?
Me: Though I haven't seen it myself, but it's supposed to be a very good film. I heard that Kung Fu Panda is a funny movie, and huh…must have us straight rollin'…..
No wonder that chick in the cage wouldn't give me any play. I found out that she's a donut bumper. Whoo, her breath smells like poo…
WeiJia(left panda): That day, I went to a casino…My hands didn't look much better…I was out there with a busted straight, but the other guy was lucky enough to have a royal flush…
Me (right panda): Oh, really? Poor stuff to hear….
Wow, what type of ice cream is this? I can't figure out its favor…strange favor and strange taste…I'd rather prefer the strawberry favor…Chewing this odd ice cream really set me up! But, uh…I felt as if my teeth had been punched out!
