They Have Secretly Organized in to a Crypto-Nazi Society
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"A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime."-Mark Twain Notebook, 1895
If this is not definitive proof that cats have a secret plan to take over the planet, then tell me, what is? Here we see the mastermind of the CATLIT (Cats Arise - Terrorize Local Impudent Two-Footers - i.e. humans!!) taken by our intrepid undercover agent. He was able to upload the image before being caught and thrown, without mercy, to the kittens. The swine! Well, feline would be more accurate but you get the drift.
They Have a Secret Service
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"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."-English Proverb
Another secretly taken photographic shows one of the High Commanders of CATLIT being guarded by her group of Secret Service Felines. Do not be fooled by the restive and laid back air of this apparently harmless grouping. This group of blood thirsty murderers had recently viciously (and without provocation) attacked and devoured three mice, two gerbils and a sparrow. The heartless cads.
Their Secret Service Infiltrates All Level of Society
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."-Unknown
A rare photo of the Black Ninja Assassin Sect - last located in down town Tokyo but who have recently disappeared, leading Intelligence to believe that a full scale cat attack is imminent. Look at the pitiless eyes, the cold killer stares and admit to yourself there is reason to worry.
They Have a Secret Pirate Cabal
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" God made the cat in order that humankind might have the pleasure of caressing the tiger."-Fernand Mery
The dispassionate stare of a seasoned killer. This is one of the leaders of the, until recently, secret cabal of feline pirates. Walter, named after a certain Mr Raleigh of Elizabethan pirating fame, is close to the top of the CATLIT hierarchy and it will be his mission, when the attack comes, to spread confusion and chaos among humanity. If you own a cat and think it may be part of the Pirate Cabal, listen closely when he is sleeping. If, instead of going "purrrrr" your cat instead emits an "Arrrrr" noise, then your worst fears will be confirmed.
They Are Highly Trained and Armed To The Teeth
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The youth wing of KITCAT must be taken seriously, perhaps even more than their full grown counterparts because it is among the kitten population that true fanaticism exists. Trained as expert snipers, these kittens regularly take pot shots as dogs as they are walked, showing true disregard for the equality of species as laid down by the Aquaviva Convention. If you own a dog and the poor things yelp suddenly for no apparent reason whilst being walked then you can be sure that a member of the youth wing of KITCAT is sniggering on a window ledge nearby.
They Know How to Exploit New Technologies
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"Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you."-Mary Bly
Cats have no fear of exploiting new technology in their war against us. In fact, they are encouraged from kitten hood to immerse themselves in the internet. Several humans of middle eastern origin have recently been jailed for researching bomb making on the internet. Professing their innocence strongly, little did they know that they were the unwitting dupes of the feline super villains they once called "Mr Tibbles" and "Angel Princess". If you think your cat is simply entranced by your fish tank screen saver, think again. While you are in the kitchen opening the latest can of de-luxe Tuna chunks (and beware, cats much prefer dolphin, by their own admission), young Atticus the Catticus is plotting the next outrage.
They Have Strange Hypnotic Powers
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"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."=-Anonymous
Another member of the youth arm of KITKAT tries to fool its unwitting human "owner" in to thinking it is just a super cute ball of fur. However, every now and again their guard goes down and their true nature can be relieved. Look at the insatiable thirst for power in the eyes of this villain and shudder! This is the true face of evil.
They Have Undergone Highly Intensive Training
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In order to effect world domination, KITKAT have been pursuing rigorous physical training, sometimes involving highly elaborate military training grounds, tucked away in the back gardens of their human "owners" and masquerading as harmless garden furniture. Here a member of KIKTAT trains secretly, unaware that he has been caught on film by another one of our undercover agents. We must act now to extinguish this feline threat before it is too late! Today, the back garden, tomorrow your rugs, settees and Wedgwood china!
