I just love it when you take the cap off the milk bottle and your hair starts to curl. It seems like just yesterday that the expiration date came and went, so why in the world would the milk suddenly curdle like cottage cheese? Time sure flies when you're having fun, they always say, but they don't tell you what can be the result of all that flying time...milk that could stand up and walk away of its own accord. So, what do you do when you get a nasty surprise such as that? Most people would probably dump it out, but not me, because you see, I found out something a while back: Chickens will eat anything, and they will enjoy it too.
I discovered this one day while giving them a snack which I was almost ashamed to feed to another living thing. It was actually our garbage left over from the day's meals, stuff like, banana peels, apple skins, rancid "something" that was discovered in an unsealed canning jar, etc. It looked like toxic waste and smelled even worse, which caused me to hold it pretty much at arm's length all the way out to the chicken coop. I know another little secret about chickens, if it aint good, they aint gonna eat it, so I figured they would eat what was still good and leave the rest to get thrown out later. The glop in my garbage pail sent out a warning scent that arrived at the chicken's noses about two minutes before I did, and they practically attacked me.
I could hardly take a step through all the frantic bodies swarming about my feet, but I was finally able to dump out my "treasure" on the ground. If I had not stepped back quickly, I would have had holes pecked in my shoes, they were that eager. I shook my head in amazement as I watched them destroy that vile smelling, "whatever" and mentioned a quick, "bon apetit" as I scurried out the gate away from the stench. By the time I got inside the chicken coop, they were already finished eating and staring at me in anticipation of more. "That's it, girls. That was all of it. Glad you enjoyed your hideous meal."
After that, I was never ashamed to give the most disgusting things to those chickens. I stop short of course, of actually feeding them stuff with mold on it, but most of the stuff, especially the foulest smelling stuff, they absolutely adore. Hence, I knew better than to just throw out all that delicious sour milk. As suspected, when I poured the milk into their dishes, they dove in like fish and drank it all, every last drop, even pecking the empty dish until it was bone dry. Ah, what a flavor sensation. I just roll my eyes at the sort of food they appreciate the most, and feel grateful that their eggs end up tasting okay. In fact, when people buy farm fresh eggs from us, they usually compliment us on the wonderful, rich flavor that you just can't buy in a store these days. Oh, if they only knew.
Another item that absolutely never goes to waste in my house is day old cat food. You know that canned stuff that smells like dead fish no matter what the label says is actually in it? Well, sometimes the cats refuse to eat it, (I wonder why?) and you end up dumping it out because it's too dry to eat. The chickens smell that stuff coming, and they start doing their little "here-it-comes-Myrtle,-get-out-the-fine-china" dance. Chickens live for cat food, the older the better. If it smells like something died right there in the can, you know it will make a grand old feast for hungry biddies out in the yard. When Felix turns his nose up at it and stalks off in search of a nice, tasty mouse or bug, don't fret. Just find someone with a flock of chickens to give it to. It will be greatly appreciated.
Our chickens occasionally even get a treat that has not already gone bad. They love boiled eggs, which is a good thing because we sometimes get too many eggs for our family to eat, and cannot sell them fast enough. The chickens get much-needed protein from boiled eggs and will practically leap right into your hand when you offer them some. Word of advice, if you ever get the opportunity to feed a flock of chickens by hand, do not try it with boiled eggs, meat or anything rotten. They will eat your hand and won't stop until they hit your wrist bones. Now, I exaggerate, of course, but they do tend to get a bit carried away with those types of food items. I have a rooster that I can feed boiled eggs by hand, but I won't try it with the hens, they are way too hungry. That's something else I have learned about chickens, hens are always hungry. They gobble grain all day long, but whenever you bring a treat they act as though they haven't eaten in a month. The rooster doesn't dare get in their way when they smell food.
Our chickens also eat the usual chicken rations: Scratch feed, laying mash, a little cracked corn from time to time, the occasional worm. But they really enjoy the supplemental items that usually come with their breakfast in the morning, and if I don't have any garbage to offer them, they actually look a bit down-hearted. They will come to me and beg for their treat. I haven't the heart to tell them that what they consider a treat, most people consider compost. They wouldn't believe me if I mentioned it, anyway, so why burst their bubble? I'm glad actually, to have those crazy little chickens around, because if it weren't for them, I would never have learned how to fully appreciate garbage in all its glory.
Got sour milk? Wonderful. Day old cat food? Fabulous. Something icky in a jar that you can no longer identify? Manna from Heaven. Don't throw it in the garbage disposal, buy a few perpetually hungry hens and let them dispose of it for you. They don't know they're eating garbage and they will love you for it. Just as long as you don't do something really awful like saving their luscious garbage to eat yourself. Some crimes are forgiveable, but not that one.
