Let’s face it: real life is pretty weak compared to video games. Here are ten reasons life would be a lot more awesome if it was a sweet RPG.
I'd have a name like Sephiroth or Noober… or Sephiroth.
Every time I woke up with a hangover and realized I had no money left, I could just go outside and kill a bunch of monsters (in randomly-generated encounters) until I have like 1500 gold again. Then I'd go drink more.
Every time I died I could just have my party members bring me to a priest who would resurrect me for a nominal fee. In real life, every time I die, I'm mostly just dead.
Every time a cop was like, “Hey, you were going a little fast!” I could be like, “Hey, I'm going to chop your face with this sword!” And then I'd totally do it.
If I ever got in a fight with some really tough badass dude, it'd be a lot less stressful and scary in turn-based mode. Plus I could always choose to flee.
After high school, I could have spent five years wandering the countryside, building up my experience points by fighting slimes and lesser dragons instead of spending it at college, pursuing a useless writing degree which I would ultimately use to write asinine online articles about why I wish my life was an RPG.
People wouldn't care if you barged into their house and dug around in their stuff trying to find potions and gold to steal.
I would totally save on my heating bill by using fire spells.
I could walk across the continent in like ten or fifteen minutes, depending on the number of randomly-generated monster battles I had to attend to.
I would have a sweet job saving the world from imminent destruction and I probably wouldn't be working 60 hour weeks at an insurance company's call center.
You didn't realize that a writing degree might be a bit impractical until after you graduated? Might be more useful if you spent less time in rpgs, more actually writing something for money. But I liked the list.
By the way, I had a poetry writing degree, but no illusions about the wonders of its applications in the corporate world.
By the way, I had a poetry writing degree, but no illusions about the wonders of its applications in the corporate world.