If you do one thing on this list, make sure I'm not near you.
Talk about "If Loops".
"If Loops" don't exist, there are "For Loops", "For Each Loops", "Do" and "While Loops" but only "If Blocks".
Say that you think Vista is better than XP or Windows more stable than Linux.
Actually Vista is more save than XP, atleast after you just installed it, but over all it's worse. And it's actually easier to keep Linux running for 3 months than Windows, BUT it's not impossible to keep Windows running for 3 months, just leave the pc alone and hope for the best.
Eat cookies or other thinks that break into thousands of parts when you bite a part off near the victims PC.
That would drive every PC liker mad, or even berserk so be careful or really fast.
Be a cat.
Honestly, I would smash a cat that would only look at my notebook, just to be sure it doesn't jump or walk over it and don't leave it's fur near the air flow for the coolers. Why do you think I don't like them? Just because I don't like them doesn't mean I don't like them, I hate them.
Play around with something sharp edged near the display.
Try it near my notebook and it will be the last thing your hands held.
Use a feather duster and weave up dust.
Plastic is like a magnet for dust. PCs even more. And notebook displays even more. So try that and prepare for hell.
Pin an important floppy to the fridge with a magnet.
Well, luckily I don't use these anymore, but if I would, you would be in deep trouble.
Put important CDs or DVDs into the microwave.
They get a funny pattern on them after that, and if the possible explosion of the microwave didn't hit you, I would, really really painful.
Type with one or two fingers.
Actually, when I see something like this, I wonder how that is even possible.
Leave CDs or DVDs in the sun, for weeks.
I would make sure that you'll experience what they felt, before the data on them died.
Get a super magnet and put it for presentation next to the PC.
This can not only damage the magnetically saved data on the HDD, it can also damage the HDD itself permanently. So prepare for your doom if you should ever do this.
Name HTML as programming language.
It's not even a script language...
Think that if you can play a game, you can make one your self.
Ever tried to display a simple cube in 3D and make it rotate? If so then try to make a non-sphere-based collision too.
Try to install Windows on a Mac.
If you do, better keep it a secret, or the Mac users will get you and trust me, they are everywhere...
Take a screen shot with using your cellphone camera.
No comment.
Take a screen shot with putting the monitor on a scanner.
WTF?!
Switch the power supply unit to 110 V while you live in a 230 V area.
I hope the PC didn't suffer long...
Use Winamp for videos or the Windows Media Player for videos and music.
Winamp is a MUSIC player, it can play videos but you aren't cool if you use it for that. About the WMP... just get something else to mishandle than the poor PC.
Use Outlook.
Didn't I tell you to get something else to mishandle than the poor PC?!
Use the Internet without firewall and virus scanner.
Drill Owl will kill your family, ORLY?
Wonder where the keys went after you used a vacuum cleaner to clean the keyboard.
... Anykey?
Who's this LAN and why does he throw so many parties without me?
It's to hard to tell you the truth, but one day, you will be enlighten.
Ask for a WLAN cable.
Seriously, WLAN stands for wireLESS LAN, wireLESS means NO cables. Like brainless means NO brain. Zort.
Test your new Pocket Knife on the power supplys cable.
If you get hit, good, if not, even better.
Be Bill Gates.
... any last words? Like Tux said, KILL BILL
Use a notebook as umbrella replacement.
Well, I wonder how you would be as a cooking spoon replacement.
Lay your notebook on the bed.
One question, how long can YOU breath with out fresh air?
Ask for a PS3 emulator.
You know that the PS3 uses 1 CPU and 7 SPEs? Try to find a SPE for PCs, then we can talk.
Wonder why notepad can't edit an .exe file.
It can, but it doesn't tell you how. I won't either.
Use a notebook for surfing at the beach.
You again, didn't I tell you already two times to mishandle something else than a PCs?
Final Words
If you feel offended, think about changing something or buy some paper and a pencil, for the sake of the PCs.
No PCs, Notebooks or Living Beings were hurt while I wrote this, it's up to you to keep it like that.
PS: never try to lay a single finger on MY notebook, the finger will never be seen again *gg*
