Dating Like a Raving Lunatic

With the advent of internet dating it is now easier than ever to show the opposite sex what a unique individual you really are. There's many neat little things you can take advantage of that online dating can offer you to help you further your mandate of working through your baggage. The great thing is that you can work through your issues right in front of a total stranger while they are forced to sit and be polite to you.

Why Date In The First Place

I like to compare dating to going on a roller coaster ride. Why go on it alone when its alot more fun to watch the person next to you completely lose it! You know, have a total melt down right before your eyes. While you may not actually get to see your date completely lose their **it you will get to see them come pretty close. Its all in the eyes my friends.

Who doesn't want to make someone so uncomfortable that you can see them reviewing every life choice they've ever made over a glass of chardonnay. Who doesn't want to see someone looking at the clock on their cel phone every few minutes in hopes that the thing will actually ring.

People get way too wrapped up in the seriousness of dating. Make it fun and bring some excitement to the table. Let everyone around you see that you are a complex individual who has had a rich and full life that you are willing to share with the rest of the world.

Make An Impression

Many people are concerned that they wont come across as interesting to their internet date. There are a few rules you should follow if you want to be remembered and puzzled over for a long time after the date.

1. Show up wearing something that isn't right for the season. If its summer, make sure you wear a heavy wool sweater and a hat. Not only does this say that you are "doing your own thing" but you have the confidence to pull off any kind of outfit. Likewise, in winter, saunter into the lounge you are meeting at in shorts and a t-shirt. Yes! even if it is minus 50 degrees outside. Be brave my friends.
2. Order a drink that only a child would have. You know, one of those drinks without alcohol that has a cutesy name. Look really excited to get your drink like you haven't had one before. Bouncing up and down and clapping your hands together makes you look like you enjoy the little things in life. If a squeal should come out of your mouth too, well, all the better.
3. Talk about television a lot. Go on long winded rants about characters in your favorite shows and how you are disappointed with last seasons finale. Make sure your date knows what night your shows come on so they don't mistakenly decide to call on that night. Describe in detail a specific episode that you liked and make sure you keep intense eye contact with your date the whole time. If they look away ask them if they are listening. This shows how much you appreciate the arts and makes you appear sophisticated and deep.
4. Start scratching and talking about a rash you got last week that you cant seem to get rid of. Scratch in places under the table out of eyesight so as to keep your date guessing. A little bit of intrigue goes a long way my friends. If you are asked about the rash just be aloof and offer some nondescript answer.
5. Ask your date personal questions that most people wouldn't have the guts to ask. Such questions are:
   
   • Has anyone ever barfed on you?
   • Would it be weird if I called you Kevin? (especially if his name isn't Kevin or its a female)
   • What size underwear do you wear?
   You get the idea. Be creative and prepare your answers ahead of time. Make sure they come across as natural and unrehearsed or your date might feel uneasy. You will certainly seem brave and bold to your date for being so forthright.
6. Bring up a topic that you feel very strongly about. Perhaps your anger towards the opposite sex. Let your date know how screwed up your past dates have been and how everyone else is wrong but you. Show them how compassionate you are towards them as you "know" they would never treat you like that. Let them see how strong you are and yet how much of a vulnerable side you have. This will make them want to be near you even more.
7. When your date is talking make sure you stare intently into his or her eyes. Its best to keep your eyes fixed on them without blinking or looking away. This sends the message that you are a good listener and you love to hear their voice. Make sure you say to them that you find their voice very soothing and you'd like to record them saying "goodnight" to you over and over again.
8. At the end of the date make sure they know your phone number and try to get theirs. If they are shy about it just tell them to call you as soon as you get home. Write your number on a piece of paper and on their hand so they wont lose it. Make sure you have them promise to call you as soon as you get home. Your date will be thrilled to know that you like them so much that you can't wait to hear from them again.

These are just a few of the things you can do to have a successful fist date. Remember that it's all about you. If this person is not willing to commit after the first date then move on. You are a very special person with needs, lots of needs and you need someone who will completely bend in half to meet those needs. If you just keep looking eventually you will find that special someone who will be able to fulfill you in the ways that your parents never could.