The weirdness of using a new laptop is stressful enough as we all know, but what do you do when the laptop in question is not capable of making any decisions on its own, yet it refuses to allow you, the user to make a decision for it? This is a serious issue. Not only is it incapable of making a decision, it is also incapable of following directions. I just got a new notebook computer and soon discovered that it seriously has a mind of its own in regards to internet access. I attempted to upload my internet browser software and the computer, apparently thinking that I was performing some sort of ritual abuse, refused to cooperate in said upload. Two days and sixty uploads later, it finally got impatient with me and accepted the hated software just about two seconds before I hurled the whole computer out the nearest window. It may not take direction, but my Notebook certainly does believe in preserving its own life.
It would, regardless, spit error reports at me quite diligently….reports that I am quite certain have never been heard of this side of Mars. Reports like this one: Get Bart Path failed. Hmmm. I don’t know who Bart is, why I have to get him, or why his path has failed, but I do know that I cannot stand the guy. He was the main reason why I could not persuade my stupid computer to get online. But, if I play “Ring around the Rosy” with old Bart, he will graciously and quietly go back into hiding from whence he came, and allow the privilege of internet access.
Of course this is the same author who got an incredible amount of use out of one $2.00 laptop, that she bought at a yard sale. I certainly got more than my money’s worth out of that one, so I guess I should be used to challenges. I was not, however, prepared for the challenges to be faced when dealing with a recalcitrant, brand-spanking new Notebook PC. One of those challenges, I was soon to discover, was the delightfully nasty little touch pad, occupying the front and center locale on my pc. This device is clearly the product of an extremely and deliberately twisted mind.
As high-tech as the touch pad seems upon first inspection, it is a devilish little monster upon closer inspection. Just try surfing the web when you have to rub your finger over the pad for six minutes trying to find your cursor, and then for six minutes more, trying to place it where you want it. Oh yeah, and then don’t forget to click the left hand button to keep your cursor where you want it. Failure to do this will launch you into whole other worlds of stress as you have to chase your cursor all over the screen once again, just because you enjoy it so.
Oh, and just try to type something without dragging your arm, hand or sleeve over said touch pad, which is located precisely in the spot where you can easily drag arm, hand or sleeve over it. The slightest touch on the pad and your work goes sliding up and away out of sight. That is a lot of fun when you are right in the middle of some seriously crucial writing that you must get completed before the world comes to an end. This wondrous effect has taught me the valuable “piano-posture” that is known to all well-trained pianists… keep the wrists bent so that your hand hovers over the keys rather than resting upon them. Of course this can wreak some havoc if you are not in firm grasp of the home keys on your board.
Luckily I am a touch-typist who is capable of typing without needing to look at the keys or the screen, but I do have my moments of fingering insanity where I am capable of typing six paragraphs of total gibberish before I figure out that I have misplaced my home keys to an extravagant degree. Hence, I always type with eyeballs firmly glued to the screen. That way, if I make a typographical error, it can be quickly and easily solved without ripping my hair out or tossing the computer out the window. This is hard on windows and laptops both, so it is not a solution I would recommend.
Placing my laptop next to a window is not always the greatest idea in the world either as it usually leads to an incredible amount of distraction. I am a self-distracting creature to begin with so this is not a good thing. I can see it now…I get to a critical juncture of some story or article that I am writing, something that has to be done in a certain time frame, and I am in a very big hurry, feeling the stress, feeling the importance of completing my task on time, and aw, what a cute little squirrel out there on the tree. He is dancing up and down the trunk to entertain me. Five minutes of that and I suddenly awaken to the fact that I am still sitting there, my hands frozen on the keys, staring out the window at the silly animal, who is obviously aware of and delighted with his captivated audience.
So, the rules of laptop writing are as follows… keep wrists arched to prevent runaway scrolling incidents, and always be fully aware of precisely where your cursor is at all times, as it is unpleasant to click the button and find yourself typing within a paragraph you already completed two hours ago. Do not place your laptop anywhere near an actual window, unless it has a curtain that you keep drawn at all times while writing, and never, never, never under any circumstances, provoke Bart to come out of hiding because he is a stinker when brought into the light of day. He is a problem at night as well. The final and most critical rule to remember is that the laptop writes all the rules, and it does not listen to reason.
That being said, I have only one thing to add in conclusion…I really, truly, totally, desperately and completely miss my mouse. I have several extra mice I could use except for one small problem…they will not plug into a laptop. Nope. Not a chance. You have to buy a specially designed mouse for use with a laptop pc.
It figures.
