Ever need a valid excuse, er, reason to be so addicted to writing your blog? Here are some reasons that might make you chuckle.
Writing blogs will give you a legitimate reason to be on line all the time. Just keep the window to blogger.com available so you can quickly change screens from Yahoo Games Pool! or Perez ("Gossip Queen"-not Paris's sibling) Hilton websites.
When friends ask you how you spent your weekend you can sound like a serious writer when you respond "Oh, I spent some time on my blog site this weekend." Instead of admitting how many hours of couch potato television you watched while the front lawn only grew longer and the paint on the front of your house chipped a little bit more.
It gives you practice using your keyboarding skills. "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy-ass dog." This might instead become "Today, I got out of bed and shuttled to the toilet where I sat down...." Interesting huh?
It forces you to learn all you can about attracting an audience. I could even put pretty, pretty pictures on my blog-but I have not learned that yet! So, I resort to describing every ridiculous mundane task I did today. (See Reason #3)
What the hell else are you going to do anyway? Christmas is over and you can't shop because you have no money left and the teenagers took both your cars and you are stuck home alone!
You get that feeling you sometimes get about winning the lottery. Sure there might be one in a billion chance that Oprah might be sitting home (but not because she is out of money or has teenagers who took her car-some other reason), searching blogs for writers she will make into the next James Frye.("Yes this really happened to me and it is fiction"-a new genre!)
You believe that the world really gives a damn about your poor, pathetic and boring little life. Oh PLEEEAASE!
You want to scream at the world and every living thing in it "I am here, I am important, I matter." Then you remember the Kansas song "Dust in the Wind." "Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind." and you want to fling yourself off the nearest balcony but you are afraid of heights.
You are so over meeting people in chat rooms and making up an identity. You have tired of being Hot_Sexy_Mama, who is a former Playboy bunny, Rhode Scholar and developer of a cure for hunger in Africa, (SEND THEM FOOD!) You decide it is time to do something real on the Internet.
A blog takes you out of your everyday hood and places you squarely in the middle of cyberspace. You thought your hood was full of dark alleys and menacing characters? Try this hood where you are walking alone in a hostile cyberspace without your can of mace or your machete. You are exposing all your private words in a most public place. What a thrill, what a rush! In the movie "The Jerk" Steve Martin's character said, "The new phone book is here and I am SOMEBODY now!" Blog on!
