Today's woman is a risk taker. No longer content to play it safe and maintain just her medically determined weight to height ratio, she is willing to go the extra mile and do whatever it takes to come out on top in an world of ever shrinking dress sizes.
Smoke Yourself Thin
This tried and true method of weight loss has been used by women to control their weight since Bette Davis blew her first smoke ring on the silver screen back in the 1930's. Sure, the play it safe anti-smoking lobby will tell you that cigarette smoke is a carcinogen. But what's a little cancer when you can look as cool (and as thin) as Bette Davis did in those old movies.
Risk Rating: 8.5/10
Have Lots of Kids
Just a few kids may lead to weight gain or even obesity. But if you have fifteen of them you'll be too busy changing nappies, cleaning house and yelling at your older kids, to even think about eating. You may work yourself into an early grave, but I guarantee that while you live, your figure will be the envy of every other woman in the neighborhood.
Risk Rating: 7/10
Invite Your Twenty-Two Year Old Cousin to Live With You
There is no better motivator for sticking to that latest fad diet than having a much younger female sashaying around the house in an outfit you can't get an arm or a leg in to. The risk here is that she'll giggle one too many times at one of your husband's stupid jokes, you'll snap and run over her with the vacuum cleaner and have to serve fifteen to life in the laundry room of a women's prison.
Risk Rating: 7.5/10
Go Hiking in the Wilderness Without a Map
If you can't control your impulse to eat three meals a day, you must remove yourself from all temptation and go hiking in the wilderness. Ten days without food (you may like to bring some drinking water) will drop those unwanted kilos. Have you ever watched a news report on TV about some guy who got lost in the wilderness and lost twenty kilos in two weeks? I know what you're thinking. It's getting harder these days to stay lost in the wilderness with all those pesky rescue helicopters in the sky and cadaver dogs on the ground. But even a week without food or shelter will achieve a satisfactory weight loss.
One safety tip though, make sure you don't get yourself lost for too long because any gains made by the weight loss could be offset by the fact that you are no longer breathing when they slip your body into that size 8 dress you bought five years ago with the hopes that you'd be able to fit into it some day.
Risk Rating: 9/10
Don't limit your risky weight loss behaviors to just these suggestions. Get creative and brain storm ideas with your friends and colleagues. You'd be surprised how easy it is to dream up new and ever riskier ways to lose weight.
