Some of you just don't have the balls to say “Honey! I'm leaving you for …(whatever the reason)”. So you think of other things to make situations go worse.
DAY 1:
Unfortunately, If the Mrs is too much in love with you, it is hard to explain that you fall no more for her. So the first good way is to make her fall off the bed every night she makes an attempt to make love. If she gets fractured, it's a long term break (from sex). But if you are too soft and don't want to break anything else but her heart. Then carry on convincing her that she has gone fat and the bed has become smaller.
DAY 2:
Start talking about how old she looks from her age. Try to point out some wrinkles around the eye area. Then say, “I'm getting worried about myself” and leave.
DAY 3-4:
Try not to spend the weekend with her. Go out with friends or if you don't have friends, the circus will be a good pass time. When she cooks for you, never praise her, but make sure you show that you ate your food for the heck of it. If she asks you how the meal is/was. Just tell her it's not well cooked and she doesn't have that "tasty touch" in her hands anymore.
DAY 5:
Make her busy when you are watching TV. Ask her to iron your clothes or give her a few dosh to spend with family or friends. But when she returns, tell her that her family and friends are interfering in her life a lot. If she wants a good married life, she will have to leave her friends and family for a while. Then you have her trapped!!
DAY 6:
Pretend that you are doing overtime at work. Have dinner outside. Don't receive any calls. Come home and lie on your bed. Obviously, your wife will be awake. She will ask you if you have some sort of a problem that you are keeping to yourself or if you have a problem with her. Just say that she is a lovely woman but it's getting hard to understand her and she has changed a lot. The topic might roll on… but you need to keep up the stamina and convince her how so not worth she is as a good wife and repeat the things that happened from DAY 1-5. Base these days as a part of your entire married life. As if it has only been 5 days to the marriage. Let her cry don't bother to sympathise.
DAY 7:
Complain about everything when you wake up in the morning. Swear if you dare. Say that you both are not compatible anymore. Time has moved on and so should you both. Don't return home after work. Stay out. Don't receive any calls. When you return, she will yell at you. Just say that you are leaving and LEAVE.
And that's how you win to be a Looser.
