Interview with Tarzan
A WeeBe Querrian Exclusive Interview
Querrian: Hello, everyone. I am here today with the famous jungle man, Tarzan. Welcome, Tarzan. Glad you could swing by.
Tarzan: Tarzan happy to be here.
Querrian: Now I understand that this is not your first time visiting civilization.
Tarzan: This is true. Tarzan once tried moving back to big city.
Querrian: And what happened?
Tarzan: Too much of a jungle.
Querrian: Wow. Imagine that.
Tarzan: Yes. Tarzan try swinging from telephone wires and got in big trouble.
Querrian; I can see where that would cause a problem.
Tarzan: Tarzan like African jungle.
Querrian: Now you were marooned there as a child and raised by apes.
Tarzan: Yes. Tarzan learn from apes how to climb and jump and hunt and eat bananas.
Querrian: What is your greatest skill?
Tarzan: Greatest skill is not slipping on all those banana peels.
Querrian: I see.
Tarzan: Tarzan have great balance. Tarzan can swing from tree to tree. Only got hurt once.
Querrian: Really? What happened?
Tarzan: I wave to wife Jane with wrong hand.
Querrian: That must not have been good.
Tarzan: Not for wife Jane either. Me land right on her.
Querrian: Now your title is Lord Greystoke.
Tarzan: Yes. I prefer Tarzan. Lord Greystoke is title when I visit big city. You tell gorilla that Lord Greystoke is here, he say, “What? Who?” You say Tarzan is here, he say, “Oh, Tarzan. Show him in.”
Querrian: Yes. I understand.
Tarzan: In African jungle, they don't know my name or title. They know Tarzan.
Querrian: So you can speak to animals in the jungle.
Tarzan: I speak to all animals in jungle. When I need help, I call a jungle animal and they come help.
Querrian: That's very impressive. And there is a certain call you use?
Tarzan: Yes. Watch this. Ah - Ah ah ah ah - Ah ah ah.
Querrian: Yes. Impressive. Now what did that mean?
Tarzan: Tarzan call elephant.
Querrian: Really? That's nice. That's nice. Very interesting. So that will call an elephant to help you.
Tarzan: Yes. Elephant is on his way.
Querrian: On his way? Wait, what was that? Hold on, I am getting word from our producer. You say there is an elephant back stage?
Tarzan: That Tarzan elephant.
Querrian: He came that fast?
Tarzan: Elephant expecting Tarzan's call.
Querrian: Well, can you make him go back now?
Tarzan: Tarzan can't make him go. Tarzan need elephant.
Querrian: Here? Now?
Tarzan: Elephant Tarzan's ride home.
Querrian: Why not just take a taxi?
Tarzan: Know what difference between taxi driver and elephant?
Querrian: What?
Tarzan: I understand what elephant is saying.
Querrian: Oh, yes. I see. That's a good point.
Tarzan: Tarzan tell elephant to wait outside.
Querrian: That would be appreciated. We wouldn't want an elephant hanging around the back of the studio. Now is your wife Jane with you here?
Tarzan: Wife Jane make trip to big city with Tarzan. She misses big city sometimes, so I take her with me this time.
Querrian: Great. What does she miss most about the city?
Tarzan: Shopping. Wife Jane think Tarzan is rich! “Tarzan not make much money working in African jungle,” I tell her.
Querrian: Yes. I can imagine that. Now you wear this leopard loincloth for your clothing all the time.
Tarzan: Yes. Dry cleaning bills a lot less for Tarzan once I decided to wear only leopard loincloths.
Querrian: And they are comfortable?
Tarzan: Tarzan a lucky man.
Querrian: Oh? How so?
Tarzan: Tarzan can walk around in underwear and wife Jane not get mad at me.
Querrian: Wow. Yes, every man's dream.
Tarzan: Tarzan feel very comfortable.
Querrian; Well, that's all the time we have for today. I want to thank you for being my guest.
Tarzan: Tarzan can go now?
Querrian: Certainly. Join me next time for another WeeBe Querrian Exclusive Interview.
Tarzan: Ok. I get my ride, now.
Querrian: No wait. We don't want that elephant in here.
Tarzan: Tarzan call elephant for ride home.
Querrian; Yes, but he needs to stay outside. Ok, watch out for that elephant! Clear the room! Oh great. Now look what he's done.
Tarzan: Sorry about that.
