10 Ways Not to Get Arrested

1. Stay in the House

   If your in the house you can't be arrested unless your Shawn O'Hara the notorious haircut Mafioso Mr. Ohara stabbed his father with a sword because of a haircut dispute. What's more gangster than that? I'm sure he has a great deal of tough tales to tell inmates.

2. Stay Far Away from Drugs

   Growing up your parents preach it saying, “stay away from drugs because…” and few people listen and I am perfect example but with people being locked up every 45 seconds for it you have to ask yourself, is this a crime. Apparently according to an article which states some people spend Life IN PRISON for it.

3. Keep Your Clothes on in Public

   People just seem to be unable to keep there clothes on in public and during the Super Bowl there was a case of the infamous streaking act. Come on people there are sexual predators around, don't make yourself a target.

4. No Speeding

   Everybody is speed racer these days and it's getting outrageous. Two trains collided in a fatal collision were it was reported they were speeding. Yup, you heard me speeding. Even public transportation is doing it so if you never buckled up before…umm nows the time to do it.

5. No Kiddy Porn

   There is a zero tolerance rule to child molesters and kiddy porn collectors or actors are no different unless your R. Kelly. Apparently you can pee on kids and engage in “dinner at the buffet” acts in the house with kids now as R. Kelly was cleared of all charges on his child pornography case. The streets aren't safe anymore if you have kids and live nearby Kelly because like he says “he's a flirt.” Houston we have another Michael Jackson wanna be.

6. No Killing Animals

   Well as we all know many animals are killed for the good looks of man but that number is about to take a great decline as U.S. Olympic team swimmer Amanda Beard poses nude. The ad is an anti-fur ad which states, “be comfortable in your own skin.” Way to get the readers attention Ms. Beard. I think I'm going to boycott the fur industry now.

7. Keep Your Eyes and Phones to Yourself

   Sometimes you could go to jail for what you see or take a picture of…..huh..wait lets back up, you can go to jail for that. Well a young man opened his door one night taking a picture of a drug dealer being locked up and the next day was taken to jail. Maybe cell phones should come with warnings that state these things. Warning: You may be arrested for taking pictures of anything the cops feel you shouldn't.

8. Keep on Top of Your Hygiene

   Apparently four people cared so much for their hygiene they were arrested. She only tried borrowing product tallying up to thousands of dollars…umm is it a crime to borrow goods?

9. “Thou Shalt Not Steal”

   Even though one of the most recognized commandments states, “thou shalt not steal” many seem to be obsessed with it and celebrities are setting the trend. These celebrities include Winona Ryder, Jennifer Capriatti, Farrah Fawcett, Courtney Love, Britney Spears and the list goes on. Some people make a career of it and a woman by the name of Carol who is 39, actually assembled her whole closet through shoplifting so maybe there is hope because everyone doesn't get caught. For the celebrities: stick to stealing carpets, not products.

10. Don't Break the Law

    Duh, everyone should know numero uno.

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