Telemarketers are annoying. They will not stop calling. They are relentless. They must make their commissions.
Start snoring over the phone. Tell the telemarketer that you are a heavy sleeper and that he will continue to hear your snoring until he gets off the line.
Tell the telemarketer that there is too much static on the line. Suggest that he use some static free spray on the phone.
Start crying. Talk about your problems. Tell him about your son that has malaria, and your daughter who is having an affair with a rap musician. Make up things. The more outrageous the better.
Start breathing heavily and tell the telemarketer that you have asthma. Make sure it takes you at least thirty seconds to get each word out. This will drive him crazy.
Ask the telemarketer if he would like to make a donation to your daughter's Girl Scout troop. Also, suggest that he buy some candy for the annual PTA fundraiser.
Start playing elevator music into the telephone receiver. Turn up the volume.
Tell the telemarketer that he is being watched at this very moment by a large, hideous alien from outer space
Tell the telemarketer that you love the sound of his voice. Suggest to the telemarketer that he should change careers and go into radio. Afterwards, turn on your radio and leave the telemarketer hanging.
Start to cough. Keep up the coughing. Tell the telemarketer that you are quite contagious. Ask him if he would like to hear about all your symptoms. Go on and on about all the illnesses in your family. After awhile, the telemarketer will get sick and tired of you.
Start doing cartoon impressions. If that doesn't work, try laughing in a variety of ways. Still not working, how about some earth shattering screams.
