You'll probably still get slapped in the face, but at least you'll be doing it in style.
1. "Let's head back to my place so you can do my dishes while I play video games and eat chips."
2. "Is that a toothpick in my pocket, or are you totally arousing me?"
3. "Hi, my mom says I look exactly like John Travolta.”
4. "Hey baby. Are you drunk enough to go home with a creepy unemployed guy? Or should I wait in that dark corner until somebody else buys you a few more drinks?"
5. "Wanna get out of here? I have the extended cuts of all three Lord of the Rings films."
6. "Hi, I like poetry and obscure hardcore bands. Want to go back to my parents' basement and talk about how interesting I am?"
7. "I'd buy you a drink, but the bartender said he doesn't take food stamps."
8. "I'm going to Cancun next month and I have an extra ticket. I know we just met, but how would you like to feed my dog while I'm gone?"
9. "Baby, I think I've died and gone to heaven... probably because I constantly suffer from mild hallucinations and schizophrenic symptoms after years of abusing crystal meth."
10. "Wow, you are extremely overweight! No, I certainly don't mean that in a good way."
11. "[Obnoxious and overused movie quote, preferably from Anchorman, Napoleon Dynamite, or anything else well over a year old]. Ha ha ha! You ever see that movie? Ha ha ha, I'm so funny, right?"
12. "Nice shoes ... Wanna meet for coffee tomorrow and talk about the state of the global economy?"
13. "Hey baby, do you have a car? It'd be really cool if you could pick me up tomorrow afternoon and bring me to my shift at Taco Bell."
14. "Do you have a hot daughter? It's okay if you don't, but you'll have to buy me a few more shots before I allow you access to my magical world of pleasure."
15. "Nice dress... it'd look a whole lot better on your mom."
16. "Good news, Aunt Judy. My mom says I'm adopted so that means we're not blood relatives ..."
17. "Hey baby, how much money do you make?"
18. "Hey baby, how much money does your dad make?"
19. "Huh huh huh huh huh, I like your butt."
20. "I lost my phone number... can I have your phone book to look myself up?"
21. "Is your mama a baker? Because baby, you smell like yeast!"
22. "I want to cover you in gravy and stuff you like a turkey... but unfortunately, I have a small conventional oven and there's no way you'd fit inside of it, so I think I'm just going to go home now. Bye."
23. "Hey girl, wanna hear some really good Chuck Norris jokes I found online?"
24. "Girl, you must be a cop. Because I have a really bad premonition about what's going to happen when I offer you money in exchange for your participation in illicit activities."
25. "What's up, baby? I'm from the Internet."
