A Satirical Look at Debt

“I can't pay my bills!” “I don't have any money to buy the things I want!”

If you find yourself stressed and pulling out your hair from overwhelming debt, then this is the ultimate guide for you to successfully keep yourself in debt. Unless of course you'd like to keep yourself out of debt, then by no means follow these rules.

First of all, you need to acquire as many credit cards as you possibly can. Try to find the ones with higher credit limits, because face it, the higher the limit the higher amount of credit you have to spend. The key to acquiring several credit cards is to use one card to charge something and don't pay it right away, wait until the minimum payment is due and only pay that, you're establishing credit that way.

Secondly, wait until other credit card offers come to you in the mail or go on line and apply for them. Most likely, they'll offer you credit card balance transfers if you apply for a new credit card from them. Wow, you can transfer the balance you just acquired on your first credit card to another card and you'll have the first card paid off! You're credit is good now and more offers will come pouring in to you for more credit! What a great financial system our country has!

This sounds too good to be true you're thinking, but wait, it gets even better. Now, that you have acquired a couple credit cards, you can go ahead and charge more on them, just remember to only pay the minimum on the credit cards and you'll keep a good credit rating. Keep looking for more credit card offers with balance transfer offers and go for them. Once you've acquired about 6 credit cards you can really go out and splurge! Buy something on each card and save enough remaining available credit on each card that you have room to transfer amounts from one card to another.

Oh, a word of caution! Please make sure ahead of time if you're going on a shopping spree that you check out your available credit balances ahead of time. This is to avoid any embarrassing situations at the store, where card after card is used to pay for an item until the one card with available credit is found! That look of fluster and bewilderment on your face is changed to a big grin when that card finally runs through and your purchase is accepted!

Now, each time a minimum payment is due, you have money on one credit card to transfer that balance to another card and no money comes out of your own pocket. How great is that! Just keep in mind; you might want to pay a little on one card so you have the money to transfer a balance due from another card, when the credit available is maxed out.

So, no more fretting over bills, just keep on spending, and remember, congratulations, you've achieved this success of surmounting debt but that's not to diminish any less recognition due from the credit card companies for they're the ones who made all this possible in the first place! Congrats to our banks and financial systems for coming up with such an ingenious plan, to supply us with the credit we so desperately need so that we can add to our ever mounting debts!