Are Farts Funny? What do you think? I think they are and if you don't you should chill out and let rip. Sounds dramatic - it surely can be - read this before you answer or make your mind up or let rip.
Last week, my friend's eldest, a boy of 5, thought it would be extremely funny if, when his parents were entertaining guests, he were to walk into the room where his Mother, Father and two friends were enjoying after dinner drinks and small talk, and emit a very loud fart. He did just that and, post-emission, broke down in tears of laughter. His Father was furious and marched the offending child from the room. His Mother asked forgiveness of her guests. The guests looked embarrassed made some diplomatic remarks and the whole affair was skated over.
When my friend related this embarrassing incident to me, although I did try not to laugh, I was unable to contain myself. My friend was annoyed but I told her she was a hypocrite and listed several occasions in the past when she herself had laughed at farts. I reminded her of the rhyme we were fond of when we were children - a rhyme we were told came from the tomb stone of a man in a small parish church in Worcestershire, England. It went like this:
Where'er you be
Let a Fart Go Free
For "twere the want of a fart
That killed poor me!
My friend started to smile but still didn"t see the humour in the incident we discussed. Not perturbed I reminded her of another childhood verse we must have recited a thousand times between us: It went:
Tarzan in the jungle
Got the belly ache
Wants to go to the toilet
Plurp, plurp [fart noise, fart noise]
Too late!
It was then that the switch went on and my friend laughed. Having her on the floor I continued reminiscing about fart incidents and anecdotes from our past.
When we were eleven we'd named fart types, just like millions have done in the past are doing now and will in the future. For us farts, loosely fell into two categories “rumblers” and “splips”. The biggest fart, the one we aimed for, was the “dynamite black rumbly”. The smallest fart, the one that we found very disappointing upon producing yet did cause us a different kind of amusement - think giggle as opposed to the guffaws that followed dynamite black rumblies - was from the Splip genus and known as a “light-switch”.
My friend continued to laugh but protested “but that was when we were young”.
“Excuse me?” I said - “what about two months ago?
“What about two months ago?”
Two months ago my friend had called to relate a tale a friend had told her that day. She'd found it extremely funny and wanted to share it with me. Dave X had remarked to her that he'd thought someone was driving a Harley Davison motorbike through his kitchen yesterday but it was just his wife farting.
My friend was still laughing when I returned to the subject of her dog-housed five year old by enquiring “Don't you think you're sending your son mixed messages?” She was cracking up when her son (the farter) entered the room and I did something I hadn't done in front of her for a good twenty years and probably more. I farted!
I laughed, she laughed and her son went into near hysterics. We had some explaining to do to her husband later that evening, but as expected, given a few drinks and convivial company he too laughed and in so doing found farts funny.
So yes, FARTS ARE FUNNY. However, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
