I bought two shirts from Sainsbury's a few months back. The double pack cost me £8.
At the time, I felt this too much of a bargain to pass up. I work in the public eye. I am the face of the company. When people walk into the finest optical dispensary this side of Milan, they want a professional, pristine service and I feel that my attire needs to reflect this philosophy.
Now ideally, I like to wear a different shirt every day. I was constantly dropping subway on my usual two and going into work with ranch sauce all over my collar. I looked like I had sprayed a load of bloody puss all over myself. So, I pass by this, let's be honest, incredible deal while doing a "weekly shop" at my local JS. Two shirts. £8. What more do you need to know?
However, because the shirts were made my Filipino slaves who were forced to stitch together the shirts from 2-D diagrams using a sheet of the lowest quality cotton/polyester imaginable and with the threat of their family all being thrown into the shark-infested ocean with bricks tied around their ankles if they didn't produce 1000 shirts per session, they are of such an atrocious quality that £4 per shirt is looking slightly criminal.
Firstly, the fit of these shirts is so dreadful that I either look simply fat or as though I bulge at one side. The shirt always finds a way of ballooning around a part of my midriff and is so short that I can't pull it down into my trousers far enough to level it out. Throughout the day I resemble some kind of trouser adjustment OCD freak as I'm constantly pulling my pants up round my chest in an attempt to control my wayward shirt.
Secondly, the cotton/polyester is of a deeply offensive quality. I make it to be 5% cotton at best. I think they have used some kind of spider web material as well. They didn't come clean about this on the label though. Anyway, the material is so thin that I can see my skin and the odd freckle through it. So I effectively look as though I'm wearing a skin-coloured shirt. I may as well come into work naked.
And the bastard things itch like a $£!&.
Two shirts. £8. Don't do it.
