Can You Say Oh-Possum?

In the late evening hour of last night my dogs began to do a distress call (that only a mother would know) to warn of enemies in their territory. I heard the call and then I saw the signal flare. The territory was the backyard and the enemy at paw was a opossum. I grabbed a flash light, the digital camera and began to patrol the area. The dogs were scouring the area with uncommon valor. When we located the opossum , it was sitting on top of the chain link fence and not dangling from a tree or playing dead much to my sadness.

As I scooted in for a closer look and I say scooted because I was terrified at any moment this thing would screech "heee-yah" and go all Jackie Chan on me. It was a common opossum type - grey spikey fur, beadie eyes, pink paws and a very handsome tail. As I assumed a neutral position, I brought the camera up toward my eye and I heard some music. I put the camera down looked at the dogs and all four shrugged their shoulders. I lifted the camera again to my eye and the music started again. The song we heard was I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred. Then the opossum began to speak in a French accent - "do you like me like theese or like theese? How zeebout theese?"

It contorted its body and gave its toothy grin while mentioning something about copyright laws. In shock, I dropped my camera and the music stopped. I picked up the camera and once more the music began. This opossum was "cat walking" on the top of the fence rail and voguing if you will, for my camera! I kept clicking and the opossum kept posing. The dogs jowls had dropped to the ground and their eyes were the size of pancakes. They, too could not believe what they were seeing or hearing for that matter. It never dawned on them, they too were removed from the norm because they also spoke in human tongue. Liddy began to stutter as she pointed toward the runway critter and said, "Puh, puh, puh, opossums are supposed to play dead not dance to Right Said Fred!"

Jack mentioned the bump he took on his head the week before must have knocked something lose. Lori said she'd bunked with one in juvie hall but it never said it was too sexy for a shirt and Gracie just wrapped her ears around her face. As the camera's battery began to dwindle the music dwindled along with it. Before we retreated back inside the opossum said "that's a wrap", requested all photos be airbrushed where needed and would be available for work on an as needed basis.