Men are God's Favorite

I'm a woman, but in my next life, I sure would like to try being a man! Why? They seem to be God's favorite - no monthly period, no pain when they become intimate with someone for the first time, and best of all, no babies coming out of their privates! Below is a more comprehensive list of why I think men are such happier people. Read on and tell me if I missed something!

1. They get to keep their own name. It's definitely a plus if us, women, who have good surnames get to keep ours, too. No hassle of having to file tons of papers requesting for change in our last name.
2. Men can eat chocolate all they want and they wouldn't care about the number of calories that will add up to their weight. After all, they can always burn it when they fix the car, no to mention that they burn it fast.
3. They can wear a white shirt to the park and still look decent and cool. If you saw the recently shown movie “What Happened in Vegas”, you know what I'm talking about. Ashton Kutcher looked incredible in his black pants, white short and jacket when he attended his wife Cameron's office event.
4. Their chances of being President of the country are higher than that of women. Although being President isn't exactly a happy job, still, you have to admit that it feels good to be in control, respected and looked up to. And in this society of ours where the papers announce equality of rights, men are still seen as the more dominant specie.
5. Men can do dirty housework - changing bulbs, turning a bolt, fixing a broken car, re-arranging the furniture, opening a jar - without having to ask help from someone else. They do this without a manual, and when they do use a manual, they understand what it says.
6. A man's tuxedo costs them about a hundred bucks, a wedding dress costs eight thousand dollars
7. Still on topic number six - men don't worry about wedding preparations. They just sit around, allow their future partner to drag them to places, and voila! It's their wedding day! Time to stand at the far end of the church and wait for his bride - no worries of tripping over while walking down the aisle!
8. No restroom is too dirty. The world is their urinal. There isn't a place described as “yuck”.
9. Other people don't stare at a man's chest whenever he's not looking or noticing. Believe us when we say that it is irritating!
10. Their new shoes don't cut or blister. They don't have to wear stilettos to formal gatherings in hopes of looking slimmer, taller and sexier.
11. They never have to go through strap problems in public and there's no such thing as VPL (visible panty lines)
12. A six-day vacation requires only one suitcase. Men never have to bring extra clothes in case they change their mood or the weather changes. Simply put, they don't need options.
13. Men enjoy the beach without worrying about freckles, wrinkles, untidy hair and oily face. Plus, their trunks need not match their bag, slippers and hat. In addition to this, they need not have a bikini wax to wear nice trunks!
14. A man can have the same hairstyle for an entire decade and this won't make him boring at all. People won't notice. Heck!
15. Men only have to shave their face and their neck. They can even skip this if they wish to and some girls won't find it a big turn-off.
16. They can wear shorts no matter how big their legs are
17. Men do their shopping in an hour or less. And this isn't simple shopping! Men have the ability to buy Christmas presents for all their relatives, family and friends in minutes!
18. Men can do their nails with a pocket knife
19. They can play with toys all their life and it's not immature - it's cute and adorable!
20. One wallet, one belt, one color, one mood for all seasons

Now, don't you wish to be a man in your next life?