Spoken English: Misunderstood

Well, we've looked at how written English could be expressed in hilarious ways and convey a totally different message from what it sets out to do. However, the same thing can also happen in spoken English in the form of slang.

So many of them exist in modern speech, text and internet language that it gets progressively difficult for an English speaker from one part of the country to understand another from a different area of the same country (let alone speakers from different nations). In my research for this article, I noticed sites for Australian slang, American gang slang, (and a very interesting one that I may go back to) about Jamaican English.

Nevertheless, I would like to present the three that I found most interesting. Firstly Cockney Rhyming Slang because I've always found it completely fascinating and clever in a most original of ways. For example, a Rhyming Slang can be put together like this: Take two words which can be associated with each other like "apples and pears". The word which you want to substitute has to rhyme with "pears," but the word you insert into the sentence to replace the one you're thinking of would not be pears, it would be "apples" (on occasion, both words are used).

Therefore, "I found me way up the apples" means "I found my way up the stairs."

Here are a few to sink your teeth into, see if you can figure them out. Answers are below.

1. Oi Waiter! I'm ready for me Jack!
2. He's a right pain in the bottle
3. He's a fool mate, never has a Scooby.
4. She's elephant! I don't Adam and Eve it.
5. He got him in the Niagara's
6. Idiot sits on his kingdom all day in his jam.
7. You got a bit of the old Peter on the hat rack
8. I've got no corn mate, been on the rock on roll for ages.
9. What's the lemon and lime?
10. Those Aprils are getting right up me I suppose.
11. That bloke in the Irish is always on the dog.
12. Get off or you're brown bread.

Answers

1. Waiter I'm ready for my bill (Jack and Jill)
2. He is a pain in the "bottom" (bottle and glass)
3. He's a fool, he never has a clue (Scooby Doo)
4. She's drunk! (elephant's trunk) I don't believe it! (Adam and Eve)
5. He got him in the --- (Niagara Falls)
6. Idiot sits on his bum ( kingdom come) all day in his car (jam jar)
7. You've got a bit of tan (Peter Pan) on your back (hat rack)
8. I've got no job (corn on the cob) friend, I've been on the dole (rock and roll) for ages.
9. What's the time (lemon and lime)
10. Those flowers (April showers) are making me sick - up my nose (I suppose).
11. That man in the wig (Irish gig) is always on the phone (dog and bone).
12. Get off or you're dead (brown bread)

Now for some Hill-people Slang.

This is the sort of language that grows on you. While listening to the Hill-people slang is totally enthralling, I think that one has to have an active knowledge of it and some experience in listening to it, in order to understand what's being said. However, it's not that hard to learn and many times, the tone itself in which the sentence is delivered unveils its meaning. See if you can tell what they mean without looking at the corresponding translations.

1. It don't make me no never mind nohow.
2. Ersoften
3. Not worth a hoot and a holler!
4. His cornbread ain't done
   
   
5. Don't that just crack yer yaller?
6. You've gone and made me havta open up a can a'whoopass on ya
7. Ma tongue twisted around ma ah teeth and I couldn't see what I was saying!
8. That old dawg don't hunt no more
9. Ya' done bought y'self a five gallon bucket a woopass now Bubba
10. Pert neer, but not plumb
11. Don't make me no nevermind
12. Get your purty shoes on Peggy Sue, don't you know you is in the city?

What they mean:

1. I couldn't care less
2. Ever so often
3. Not as good as it's made out to be
4. He is eccentric
5. How odd
6. You've made me terribly angry
7. I've made an awful mistake
8. That won't work anymore
9. You've bitten off a lot more than you can chew young sir.
10. Not quite right
11. It certainly does not bother me in the least
12. It's time to go

And to finish off, here's a bit of the ol' Bristle (a person from Bristol). Not far from where I live there is a fine city called Bristol, one of the best cities in which I've lived. Soon after moving here I found it very difficult to understand some people (not everyone speaks like the examples I've given below); and extremely funny that strangers called me "lover" (this just means "dear"); and confusing that sentences are ended in words like "mind" "look" and "summut" which means "something like that." Here are some challenges for you. Answers are below.

1. Fued looked afterid, it uddent a run off or summut.
2. I erd yer mate's a nutter.
3. I bin a werk safternun, anneye?
4. I ad a right edfit when I'd seen them two together, look.
5. Awlright me old cocker? Ain't seen you frages.
6. I jus ad me lush anbag nicked, I'm right gutted
7. The vidjoe? Sabout a nutter an is bird
8. They wunt doen nuffink, look.
9. Can I lend a fiver off ee?
10. Ee was totally plastered in the back seat, ee wunt driven mind.
11. Gif I anudder un in yer me luvver
12. I only bleeden done it again, anneye

Answers

1. If you had looked after it, it wouldn't have run off or something.
2. I've heard that your friend is a bit of a psycho
3. I've been at work this afternoon, haven't I?
4. I had a terrible head-fit (I was rather upset) when I saw the two of them together.
5. How are you my friend, I haven't seen you for ages.
6. I've just had my fabulous (lush is used for anything which looks good) hand bag stolen. I am really upset (gutted is supposed to mean devastated, but many people use it to mean anything from mildly upset to totally devastated)
7. The video? It's about a sociopath and his girlfriend.
8. They weren't doing anything. (look just means to take note)
9. Can I borrow five pounds from you?
10. He was really drunk in the back seat, he wasn't driving (again "mind" just finishes a sentence, many sentences are ended in this way).
11. Give me another one dear ('lover' is just a term of endearment).
12. I've done it again, haven't I?