Top 10 Reasons I Hate Living Up North

by Ninth Sense, Mar 2, 2008
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My personal rant on northern life.
  1. Playing bumper cars with real cars thanks to icy streets.
  2. Going anywhere takes extra time, especially if you have to dig your car out.
  3. Can we say gas bill? Starve or shiver, what a choice!
  4. Chuckholes. We have the Grand Canyon, it's just been split into a billion tiny pieces.
  5. Clothes on. Clothes off. I feel like I'm in Karate Kid 666 going out in the cold, into the warm, out in the cold, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
  6. Frozen locks. Frozen doors. Frozen everything. Where's Batman when you need him?
  7. Hat hair. Yeah, I know, you can get it anywhere, it just seems more likely up here.
  8. Lack of women wearing bikinis. Yeah, it's a guy thing.
  9. Chapped lips. Chapped skin. Now I know what a pork rind feels like.
  10. STATIC ELECTRICITY! Everything zaps me. I hate hate hate hate hate it!
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Comments (8)
#1 by Jinksy
Mar 4, 2008
Not just hat hair, but toque hair.

I can't how many mornings that's played havoc on me.
#2 by Doug
Apr 4, 2008
I've actually built up so much static charge from my sheets that I got shocked when I touched the PLASTER BOARD WALL.
#3 by Jill
Apr 4, 2008
Move?
#4 by Ninth Sense
Apr 5, 2008
Just an FYI: I was forced to move up north to care for my ill father, who refuses to leave the community he's lived the last 47 years in. If I could talk him into moving back where I lived since 1982, Florida, I'd be gone in a flash!
#5 by Ninth Sense
Apr 5, 2008
Just an FYI: I was forced to move up north to care for my ill father, who refuses to leave the community he's lived the last 47 years in. If I could talk him into moving back where I lived since 1982, Florida, I'd be gone in a flash!
#6 by Tom
Apr 5, 2008
Having to walk to work is never a treat for me-- i live on main street, and it gets so icy i cant walk on the sidewalk where cars pull in. even being raised here i cant keep my balance on that!
#7 by Rick Sparks
Jul 1, 2008
Would you like some cheese with your WHINE!?!?! Sheesh.
#8 by Johanan Rakkav
Jul 3, 2008
Uh, would that be Wisconsin cheese and Concorde (sic) whine? :)

I grew up in the North and haven't missed all those annoyances since being in the Southwest and South. But I do miss the beauty of fresh-fallen snow.
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