Applying Makeup in the Car

A tongue-in-cheek discussion approving of applying makeup while driving.

You won't see it mentioned in the driver's handbook, but for many ladies the need to apply makeup in the car is a necessary fact of life. Technically, adding volume to your lashes while changing lanes is multi-tasking. Some would go so far to say that it's excellent time management, too. You'll want to be beautiful, but be safe as well.

If you're driving at night and using an interior ceiling light, you'll have to be especially careful. The overhead light of most sedans or SUV's can cast shadows that will make any bags under your eyes look like the black cheekbone grease you'd see in a Superbowl game. Smart after dark auto-beauticians will use the glow from the speedometer and gas gauge to compensate when natural light is low. Don't forget to consider this essential vehicle feature when you're taking your next test drive.

Generally speaking, if you're in rush hour and need to do some detail work that the rear-view mirror just isn't adequate for, you may be able to use someone else's mirror. Many delivery vans have side mirrors that extend well past the side of their passenger doors and are within easy reach of your open window. A quick adjustment and you're doing your finishing touches using the van's fish eye mirror that states “Objects in mirror appear closer.” It's great for details; the downside is you can see the details of every pore.

Some other drivers may notice you're cosmetically enhancing yourself en route, and honk their disapproval. Ironically, these objections often come from gentlemen in trucks enjoying pastries and coffee. As if dining while driving wasn't a hazard. And those truckers are so high up, we can't see in their cabs to know how elaborate their commuting meal is. For all we know, they could be firing up a full scale hibachi or double dipping in a deep-fry fondue.

You'll also want to make sure your hair is in order. If you're going to do a two-hand tease, you'll need to steer with your knees. This is especially difficult while wearing an evening gown. When you have the style just right, apply hairspray liberally covering all angles. The bad news is that the accumulation of spray will probably reduce your vision through your windshield; the good news is that for an extra quarter, those squeegee kids will be happy to do the inside, too.

Finally, the last thing you want to do is attract the attention of an officer driving a police cruiser. Do you have any idea how hard it is to blend rouge evenly with blue and red lights flashing in your mirror?

13 Liked It
I Like It!
Related Articles
Are Cats the Sleep Olympians?
Tongue-in-cheek Humor: 10 Deadly Ways to Kill a Lion
More Articles by Taggart
A Thinking Man’s History of the Bikini
Signs Your Neighbors May Be Twisted
Comments (2)
#1 by concerned
Jul 20, 2007
ah, just the other day i was going up the motorway and observed a lady in front of me doing around 100 mph, well it shook me up so much about how dangerous it was, i nearly knocked my big mac out of my hand which almost knocked my coffee out of my other hand, i tell you if i wasnt reading my favorite article in the paper that i was resting on my steering wheel i would have given her a mouthfull!! :)

women drivers tut! :)


peace
#2 by concerned
Jul 20, 2007
ah, just the other day i was going up the motorway and observed a lady in front of me doing around 100 mph i then saw she was attempting to put her makeup on, well it shook me up so much about how dangerous it was, i nearly knocked my big mac out of my hand which almost knocked my coffee out of my other hand, i tell you if i wasnt reading my favorite article in the paper that i was resting on my steering wheel i would have given her a mouthfull!! :)

women drivers tut! :)

peace.

p.s., this second draft as the first one some words went missing??????????????????

Post Your Comment:
Name:  
Copy the code into this box:  
Post comment with your Triond credentials?

Popular Tags
Powered by
Inside PurpleSlinky

Humor

Jokes

Offbeat

Trivia

Popular Writers
PurpleSlinky
About Us
Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
Services
Submit an Article
Advertise with Us
Contact
© 2007 Copyright Stanza Ltd. All Rights Reserved.