Funny Bumper Stickers

by Dambrath, Dec 2, 2007
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Some of the funniest bumper stickers I have seen over the years from the Uk and US.
  1. If you can read this your teachers didn't fail as badly as we thought.
  2. I'm not racist, i hate every race equally.
  3. You have displeased my pet monkey.
  4. Its OK, I'm driving this car ironically.
  5. Organize against conformity.
  6. Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.
  7. Nemesis wanted, possibly crime lord or deformed megalomaniac.
  8. Wisecracking sidekick.
  9. Beware, I'm bulging with what could be muscle.
  10. I'm not paranoid, people really do follow me every day.
  11. My other car is a time machine.
  12. Area 51, experimental car division.
  13. If you can smell dead bodies you're too close to my trunk.
  14. Home is where the bodies are buried.
  15. You should have been used for stem cell research.
  16. Drugs are bad m'kay
  17. Don't blame me, i voted for Frankenstein.
  18. Get any closer and i get naked right here.
  19. I started out with nothing, and still have most of it left.
  20. Got common sense?
  21. You are being lied to.
  22. Not too close, i don't have control of the anger problems yet
  23. Together we can lick testicular cancer.
  24. Proof evolution works both ways.
  25. You're going in the wrong direction, you need to head right back where you came from.
  26. You aren't from around here are you?
  27. They let YOU drive a car like a regular person?
  28. Are you receiving treatment for that mental deficiency there?
  29. I win by default.
  30. If this sign is getting smaller, don't panic, the car in front is just moving.
  31. You're proof that the drugs don't work.
  32. You make a good case for Euthanasia
  33. The truth is out there, so stop looking in here.
  34. Deny everything
  35. Is your car to go with your arrest record and black resume?
  36. Don't you have a curfew with the ankle tag?
  37. Shouldn't you be concentrating on the road?
  38. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke off.
  39. Drive it like you stole it.
  40. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings.
  41. Always late, but worth the wait.
  42. I cant dumb it down enough that you'd understand.
  43. Maker poverty quieter.
  44. Finish your beer, there's sober people in Africa.
  45. I don't take drugs any more, i don't take them any less either.
  46. My anger management class really pisses me off.
  47. Member of PETA, people eating tasty animals.
  48. I like you, i shall kill you last.
  49. Retired, don't ask me to do a damn thing.
  50. Real men wear skirts.
  51. Real men like cats.
  52. Other gods are fiction but yours is real?
  53. What would Tyler Durdan do?
  54. Whatever it was, i didn't do it.
  55. I'm smiling because they didn't find where i keep the heads.
  56. I'm not a qualified doctor, but ill give it a try.
  57. Out of the way, I'm probably running late.
  58. Normal people worry me.
  59. My kid beat up your honor student.
  60. I do my own stunts.
  61. Somewhere a village lost their idiot when you left.
  62. Stop laughing and reload.
  63. Have you seen my medication?
  64. Don't like cops? next time you're in trouble call a crack head.
  65. Id hate to be you, if i were me.
  66. I brake for gnomes.
  67. I pwn noobs
  68. My job is to comfort the disturbed, and disturb the comfortable.
  69. Baby Jesus cries when you don't use your turn signal.
  70. The pigeons instruct me where to drive.
  71. Can people where you come from read yet?
  72. Fish tremble at the sound of my name.
  73. Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
  74. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.
  75. Honk if you see parts fall off.
  76. I tried being normal once, i didn't like it.
  77. Proof that crime pays.
  78. My invisible parrot doesn't like you.
  79. Fine, I'm evolved you're not.
  80. Against the laws of nature and science.
  81. Clear the way, i ate bad takeout last night and i could blow at any time.
  82. I do all my own experiments.
  83. Liberalism is a mental disorder.
  84. Red meat isn't bad for you, fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
  85. Life's a bitch, so don't vote for one.
  86. I am nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore i am perfect.
  87. I'm still hot, it just comes in flashes now.
  88. I reject your reality and substitute my own.
  89. Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.
  90. Driver carries no cash, hes married.
  91. If god wanted to speak to you he would have made you smart.
  92. Jesus loves you, hes not in love with you.
  93. Do you follow Jesus this close?
  94. Get out of the way, my kid has to pee.
  95. Why be politically correct when you can be right?
  96. I say potato, you say tater.
  97. I brake for polar bears.
  98. Yes this is my truck, no i wont help you move.
  99. Honk if Pluto is a planet.
  100. Hang up and drive moron.
  101. I am a pirate and this is my ship.
  102. I would rather be fishing.
  103. I drive in the nude.
  104. I hope you're as fast on the break as i am.
  105. I miss Pluto.
  106. I break for zombies.
  107. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
  108. Honk if my kid falls out.
  109. The closer you get the slower i drive.
  110. I'm not speeding I'm qualifying.
  111. One by one the penguins steal my sanity.
  112. Don't make me release the flying monkeys.
  113. What if the Hokey Kokey really is what its all about?
  114. Come to the dark side, we have cookies.
  115. One bad relationship away from being the crazy cat lady.
  116. Annoy a conservative, think. Care. seek peace.
  117. Frodo failed, Bush has the ring.
  118. I'm only speeding because i have to poop.
  119. Annoyed my immigrants? tell it to the Indians.
  120. The more people i meet, the more i talk to my dog.
  121. Caution driver has one eye.
  122. Whats got 2 thumbs and cant drive worth a damn?
  123. The best things in life are bees.
  124. Sarcasm, just another of the services i offer.
  125. Damn it, hes using the Chewbacca defense.
  126. Whiskey and night driving, a winning combination.
  127. In god we trust, all others must pay cash.
  128. I drive the speed limit, if you don't like it, call a cop.
  129. Snakes on a car.
  130. I only drive badly on weekdays and weekends.
  131. you're entitled to your wrong opinion.
  132. Jesus is coming, look busy.
  133. This is not an abandoned vehicle.
  134. Defecate yourself.
  135. Vote for Voldemort.
  136. Its OK, I'm trained to drive like a maniac.
  137. I'm an instrument god uses to annoy you.
  138. I was sent here to lead by example.
  139. Don't follow my lead if the lights change color.
  140. Retired, i was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.
  141. If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
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