There is always a first time for everything in this world, and snow in Southern California is one thing that the beach bums were not prepared for. Businesses shut down, schools were closed, cars were running off the highways willy-nilly only to get stuck with no way to get out. Now, in the Northern States this would be perfectly normal weather, but it would not cause any sort of panic unless the snow fall in question happened to be about a foot all at once with more on the way. Southern California shut down completely in just an inch or two. Can you imagine the panic if they had enough to actually build a snow man?
Southern states can't handle snowfall, they're just not prepared for it. They know what to do during a hurricane or an earthquake, but dump half an inch of snow on them and their world comes crashing to an end. Likewise, if someplace like Michigan or Minnesota had an earthquake, the world would drop dead for those people as well, because let's face it...an earthquake in Detroit would kill the democratic vote for the next twenty years. Of course, the earthquake itself would be blamed on President Bush.
The funniest part is, while Southern Cal was digging out their driveways and calling wreckers to haul out their stuck vehicles, Michigan was experiencing its warmest winter on record. That state did not even have snow on Christmas day, nor did it have snow well into January. It looks to me like we have entered the Twilight Zone, and Rod Serling is about to come out and introduce the show. All I want to know is where are the cameras and who in the heck wrote the script? Oh yeah, and how soon do I get my closeup?
I wonder what's next in this weird upheaval? The other day, I saw huge flocks of birds flying around and around in low circles like the ones in the Alfred Hitchcock movie, "The Birds", and then I saw them imitating leaves on the trees, resting on the branches in all their multitudes, leaving me to wonder, just what is going on that is causing the birds to act so weird. Later on, I saw more birds in a completely different city, doing the exact same things, and that leads me to believe that something even more bizarre than snow in Southern California is coming our way. It will probably be something rare, like tornadoes in Michigan. They happen, apparently, but you won't hear a weatherman say that.
Even odder than Michigan's famously illegal "mystery winds" are the mini-hurricanes that blow off Lake Michigan every so often, leaving that state reeling under gale force winds strong enough to whip the wind right out of your lungs. People who are native to ocean-side states, quite often compare the great lakes to the ocean, but the most unique name ever given to Lake Michigan was this: "The ocean at Chicago." I'll have to give the credit to a family member for that one, though I wish I had thought of it myself. I guess if Lake Michigan is big enough to create little hurricanes, then I guess it ought to qualify as a fresh-water sea. I guess that would be trading-up considering what recently happened to poor little Pluto, the mystery rock in space.
Now there's a comet coming our way that hasn't been seen in approximately.....forever. How do these people come across these numbers for how far away something is anyway? Do they treat it like a thunderclap and count how many seconds it takes for the comet to streak across the sky, or is it something even simpler than that, like for example.....a wild guess? How can they claim to know the exact age of that comet, and how long it has been since it last visited Earth, when they cannot even accurately predict Earth's weather for the next ten days?
Next thing we know the Scientists will be telling us that Mercury is not really a planet at all, but just a hunk of rock that got too close to the sun but has not burned up yet. Trust me, if Mercury was going to burn up, blow up or suddenly sprout life, it would have done so by now. At least now we know that there is a much greater chance of a cold day in LA than there is for Mercury to fall into the sun and burn up. That tells me a couple of things: No. 1: God is in charge of His fabulous creation, and 2: God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe that God has a sense of humor take a good long look at the giraffe, the platypus, and the image in your mirror. I try to avoid that last one whenever I can but it does sneak up on me sometimes.
So, snow in Southern California may or may not be a sign of worse things to come. It could be a signal of the end days spoken of in the Holy Bible, or it could just be God sitting up there on His throne getting a kick out of tossing a little sand into the works down here. Whichever it is, I'm not going to take any chances. I wonder if they sell earthquake insurance in Michigan?
