Twenty Things That You Should Not Say to a Female Cannibal |
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by Steven West, May 16, 2008 |
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A hilarious take on what you should not say when you are with a female cannibal. |
- “Hey good looking, what's cooking?”
- “I've put on a few pounds recently. I hope you don't mind.”.
- “Why are you smacking your lips while looking over my body?”
- “Would you like to carve the turkey? No? Is there something else that you would like to carve instead?”
- “Are you a vegetarian?”
- “So you don't like my work in the office. All I can say is just EAT ME!”
- “I know that you said the food is finger licking good. However, why do you have a finger sticking out of your mouth?”
- “Would you like to nibble on my ear?”
- “Would you like to feel my muscles?”
- “Why do they call you Bloody Mary?”
- “I'm sorry you lost the contest. But hey, it's no skin off my back.”.
- “When we have dinner tonight, would you prefer a leg or a thigh?”
- “There you go again putting your foot in your mouth. Wait a minute, you're putting my foot in your mouth.”.
- “My back really aches. Could you massage my back? What's that? You have other ideas for my back?”
- “What's with all the spices? Are you planning to season something tonight? Why are you looking at me like I'm a slab of beef?”
- “Honey, please give me a nice haircut. You can take a little off the top.”.
- “Why do you want to watch the Silence of the Lamb tonight?”
- “You should bite your tongue when you make such rude comments. What's that? You would prefer to bite my tongue instead?”
- “I wish that I could lose some of this belly fat. Do you have any suggestions?”
- “Never bite the hand that feeds you. Why are you holding my hand so tightly?”
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