Entry The Second - MESS OF ALABAMA
Glob Ollox - Zwikky Syndicate
(See End for previous entries)
The PML term for a partitioned area of land is known as a State, which the Transcom tells me is close to the Zwikky word for mess. What little I have ascertained about the PML, I did not think self depreciation was one of their characteristics. However, it seems an accurate description so who am I to complain?
The Mess of Alabama - my first stop. Bluespot is proving an interesting place already. It is located quite a way from my ship but fortunately I was able to salvage the Leapspace console. This will enable me to go straight to my destination without having to resort to the local forms of transport.
My safety test of the most current form of vehicular transport led to some shockingly laughable results. I ascertained that I could probably override the primitive steering system but my discovery of the fuel source led to my ultimate rejection of this experiment. The PMLs use combustible fuel, by the toes of the Great Stalluking Goshbite!
So, although the Leapspace may be detected by the PML, I considered it the only viable way to get to this The Mess of Alabama.
The Mess of Alabama - by my findings is the best source of the mineral known locally as hematite I need to get my ship going again. Said mineral was collected easily from a place known as the DeSoto Caverns which reminded me of home. With time to spare before Sol-Set, I leapspaced to the Capitol, which is a place called Montgomery. I considered this a little strange as the major centre of PML population within this Mess is a settlement known as Birmingham. There seem to be many settlements named Birmingham on Bluespot. Perhaps they are named after minor deities. Must research further.
Brief History
This area of OOSA has a history of violence. Sub-groups of PMLs have incessantly wrangled over the land. The original inhabitants (know as Choctaw or possibly Lockjaw) were decimated several hundred Bluespot years ago by PMLs from other land masses. There was another upset during something which I translate as the Conflict of Autonomy. Then these usurpers fought between themselves during Bluespot Era 1861-1865. That seems to have been a real mess. Even now their historical documents argue over the causes of the C of A. Most recently there has been the Civility Movement of Bluespot Era 1955 to the present. This seemed to be a call for all PMLs to be nicer to each other. Oddly they seem to differentiate between each other for reasons of skin pigmentation, though to be honest I can't tell the difference between any of them without close inspection. And my vocabulary to describe this differentiation eludes me at the moment.
During this Civility Movement many of the PMLs refused to use their Vehicles of Mass Transportation. Perhaps this was as a result of a similar safety experiment to the one I undertook recently.
Life Form Log
The interweb claims that the Flickery Hammered Yellow is revered by the local PLMs.
They seem to be right for once! Delicious, light meat and a really crunchy proboscis. I have captured several and hope to set up a small breeding colony on the ecopod back at the ship.
Population Demographics
The population seems to be static at around 4.5 million PMLs. We may have to introduce a breeding programme here or relocate PMLs from other Messes as this is nothing to boast about by PML standards and the Zwikky Consortium will demand an even spread of population.
The PMLs seem to break themselves voluntarily in to categories. There seem to be many in the Mess of Alabama but the two major ones refer to themselves as The Pinks and The Browns. The Pinks make up the majority in this Mess, about seventy percent. The Browns make up the rest with other much smaller minorities. The original inhabitants, the Lockjaw, make up only a half of one percent - a huge decline considering they made up 100% of the population only 500 Bluespot years ago. PMLs seem to embrace expansion but oddly to the detriment of the diversity of their own species population. Very strange. I must look in to their Procedure of Union at some point in the near future to see if there is any connection between fecundity and single-species variety.
Invasion Recommendation
With the history of conflict in The Mess of Alabama, my recommendation would be to partition this land for the forthcoming Olimpioid of the Zwikky Syndicate. The local PML population seems adept at violence and mayhem on a consistent and methodical level and could be ideal candidates for the Marathon of Pain.
They are so prone to PigStig (I have yet to find a suitable word for this strange condition so I have made one myself - combined from the words pigment and stigmatise) that we could enter them in teams according to their brownness or pinkness. The PMLs use the word racism but this seems to confer Separate Species Status on their sub-groups which is patently ludicrous. Of course, all this would make little difference to the Zwikky, as if I can't tell the difference none of my kind will. However, it may give them competitive edge, perhaps.
Post Invasion PML Collab-Leader
In my considered opinion, the PML with self-reference coding of Cox-Arquette, Courtney would make a suitable Collab-Leader. It is a native of the Mess of Alabama and seems to have a hold on the population. They sit in front of boxes and view its diary of its time in a population centre known as New Amsterdam again and again. A familiar face may allow the PMLs to become accustomed to their altered status in a faster and more ordered manner than we might otherwise expect. If The Cox-Arquette PML conducts itself correctly we may elevate her to Potentate of OOSA. I have accordingly Leapspaced a Star Of Zwikky (which the PMLs will not be able to see) to the forehead of the Cox-Arquette PML to prepare its primitive mind for its future duties.
Note to Self
This culture is confusing. The little I have learned so far has, if anything decreased my understanding of the species. In order to learn more I may have to relieve one or two of them of their liberty for a short space of time. If I can train them they may even help setting up the Flickery Hammered Yellow colony. As I have had to return to the ship before Sol-Set, this will have to be at my next Leapspace destination - a place called CALIFORNIA.
Previous Entries
Entry The First-OOSA
