Recently I dug through hundreds of entries in the treasure chest of Modern Mechanix to bring you these beauties.
The interesting thing is that unlike most totally impractical inventions all of these 1930's inventions actually made it past the design stage and well into the prototype and in many cases even production stages.
Lunar Suit or Portable Observatory?
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Thankfully this “suit” (maybe better described as a small house) never made it to the moon, but one lucky guy got the chance to look a bit like Mr. Mean (below). This thing gives new meaning to the term top heavy.
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“Fat Pants” Double-Up as a Personal Space Enlarger
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No one will be able to tell exactly how you inflated this: by hand power, gas power or maybe you just have horrible mutant upper legs. Consequently these will always insure enough personal swimming room. As an added bonus these pants will keep your legs nice and dry while your head is free to explore the marine wonders below.
Flying Invention Perfectly Mimics Flying Motion of a Brick
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Luckily this is the last photo taken of Mr. Fodie (yes his real name) as moments later he mercifully removed himself from the gene pool.
Bloody and Violent War Finally Won After Many Horrible Deaths
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How lovely! This wonderful invention obscures the horrible and obscene site of grapefruit innards, leaving you free to mutilate and destroy it without having to witness the deed. But seriously; that is all you would be able to do as you actually need to see a grapefruit to eat it. Not to mention that you'll look like a moron playing this desperate and messy pin the tail on the donkey style game, just to end up getting squirted in the eye anyway as out of desperation you peer under the torturous little umbrella to find something you can actually eat.
Madman Thinks He is a Nail, Try's to Prove it by Banging Himself in the Face with a Hammer
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Admittedly this isn't the worst invention out there but it was all worth it for the photo.
German Gentleman Turns into a Boat
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Was he bitten by a small mutant boat? I don't know; all I know is this guy looks really stupid.
Don't Delay! Look Like a Pig Today
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Besides making you look like a pig this little mask that supposedly doesn't “interfere with speaking or eating” will make you sound like Steve Urkel and make food taste like wood (who in the world would eat in a zone that requires a respirator anyway). Not to mention the fact that the day you have a blocked nose you die.
Suicide by Plastic Bag Invented
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This “face mask” takes absolutely everything into account; rain, wind, visibility and breathing…oh wait. This must have been the start of warnings on modern plastic bags. Luckily people soon noticed that these bags worked better for groceries and food than heads.
Best wishes.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt.