You've come home late from work. Your wife is not asleep. She notices that there is lipstick on your collar. It's not her lipstick. Here are ten excuses for having lipstick on your collar:
- That's not lipstick. It's red marker. I accidentally got some on my collar while working on my presentation.
- My secretary accidentally tripped and her mouth landed on my collar. I know that you are upset. I would be upset too. It's going to be very hard to clean my shirt.
- You think that it is lipstick? How silly. It's actually a little red wine that was spilled on me by my co-worker. I'm going to have to talk to her about this in the morning.
- I'm not having an affair. My best friend Jerry Splunker is having the affair. I tried to break up the affair when his mistress accidentally rubbed her face against my collar.
- I was testing lipsticks to buy for you on your birthday. I guess that I got carried away.
- You've been talking about swinging. I just wanted to test out the field first.
- Jerome Baker was painting my room in the office when he accidentally got careless and dripped some paint on my desk and on my collar
- I know that it looks bad. I prefer a lighter shade of pink myself.
- I was pretending to give you a great big kiss when my lips accidentally crossed the lips of Sheila Sunshine
- I was stuck on the elevator for thirty minutes. Wouldn't you know that Violet Thumper was stuck on the same elevator? It was hot and sticky on the elevator. I was close to passing out. Violet was kind enough to give me mouth to mouth. Thank goodness that I pulled through. I was worried about you all the time.
