Everyone gets bugged by telephone salespeople from time to time, but with a little ingenuity, you can turn it into an opportunity to have some fun. Try these out for yourself.
If they begin by asking “How are you today?”, or some other open-ended question, go off into a long rant about all your fictional problems: “Well now you mention it, not so great actually. My boss hates me, and thinks I've been stealing office supplies, I have to sort out the funeral arrangements for my Aunt Emma, my bad back is playing up again, and I need to pay the vet's bills for my pet iguana. Oh, and by the way…” Continue to make up long-winded problems until they either hang up, or feel too awkward to try and sell you anything.
At the first available opportunity, tell them about the new microwave you just bought, and describe it in detail. When they try to change the subject, change it back again and talk to them about the microwave some more.
Pick a word that is likely to come up frequently during the conversation - the product/service they are trying to offer you works well. Then every time the say it, giggle hysterically for a few seconds. If they ask you what's funny, reply in a completely serious tone “Nothing, why?”.
Say that you are a little hard of hearing, and ask them politely to repeat every other thing they say. Over and over and over and over…
Pretend that you're interested in what they have to say, and start to get really engaged in the conversation. Then claim in a disappointed tone that you have to leave the phone for a minute, but will be back as soon as possible to finish listening to them. Then go away. And don't come back.
After they introduce themselves, ask them a series of increasingly personal questions, or in-depth questions about the company they work for. If they can ask you questions, why shouldn't you ask them a few?
Ask them what colour underwear they are wearing today. If they don't hang up at that, proudly tell them that you aren't wearing any.
Ask them if they are religious. If they say yes, ask them to tell you about their religion. If they say no, try to convert them.
Talk to them for a while, and then ask for their home phone number so that you can call them back later to continue this interesting discussion
Describe to them a wonderful product that you have in stock and that no one else offers, but can be theirs for three easy payments of just £13.95.
