69 Jobs That I Would Not Want to Do

If there are any jobs that you wouldn't want to do, please feel free to add in the comment section.

1. Wedding planner- We all know that brides are the most nit picking, grouchy, obsessive, demanding clients on earth.
2. Pet psychic- I guess when humans stop communicating with you through little crystal balls, pets start whispering to you.
3. Hair-boiler operators - Boils animal hair in big vats. I bet that smells real good.
4. Sports psychologist- provides therapy to athletes on…..??? How to cope with winning and losing?
5. Forest fire lookout- Sits in a tower all day and watches for signs of a fire. Talk about boredom.
6. Easter bunny/ Santa actor - Once a year gig that entails dressing up and letting kids pummel on you.
7. Odor judge - Sniffs arm pits for odor and degree that deodorant is working. I don't want to smell my own pits, much less someone else's.
8. Animal masturbator- manually collect sperm from animals by sticking a probe up the anus or using an artificial animal vagina. That's just wrong!
9. Crime scene cleaner - cleans and disinfects murder, suicide, etc….crime scenes. Imagine pulling someone's teeth out of the wall or scrubbing someone's scalp of the ceiling fan.
10. Pet food tester - Yes, this person actually has to take a taste test of dog/cat food.
11. Zoo cage attendant- cleans the dung from animal cages at the zoo.
12. Carcass cleaner- ever wonder how the animal exhibits at museums get clean? These poor saps clean, boil, and disinfect the dead animals that go on exhibit.
13. Porno theater janitor- cleans all the “trash” from the isles after the movie is over. Somehow I don't think the trash from these patrons is popcorn boxes and soda cups!
14. Bikini waxer - Waxes hair from other peoples groin all day. Can you say yuck-o!
15. Hazmat driver - Hauls toxic materials around other cars going 60-80 miles per hr. Ever notice how many people are putting make up on, eating, or battling backseat kids while driving.
16. Poultry processor- depending on what lucky station you work…..slaughter, degut, packages, cuts, plucks, etc.. chickens.
17. Dog walker- walks and cleans up behind other peoples dogs. Dog poop, dog poop, and more dog poop.
18. Lifeguard- All the beautiful women with leg cramps in the world isn't worth the one four- hundred pound biker that gets caught in a rip tide. Oh, and did I mention the sharks and jellyfish?
19. Laundry worker- I hate doing my own laundry, but imagine someone else's skid marked underwear in your care.
20. Nanny- screaming rich brats anyone?
21. Hospital janitor - germs galore, enemas that go wrong, bloody messes, used bed pans that hit the floor….you get the picture.
22. Waffle House waitress- Esp. the 3am shift when all the drunk bar goers think they are hungry, eat, and then puke all over the place.
23. Slaughter house- You get off work covered in blood and people think you are a serial killer.
24. Greeter at Wal-Mart- The greeting part is all good but, the other part of the job is checking sales receipts on the way out. I know I have cussed a few greeters out. I have a hand full of bags and say…. a mop under the other arm. Like I am going to spend one hundred bucks, but then steal a mop?
25. Beautician for the deceased- fixes hair and make up on dead bodies. Erie doesn't do this job justice.
26. Liquor store clerk - Aside from the bumbling drunks…..it is inevitable that you will be held up at gun point.
27. Prison Executioner - Carries out death penalty on inmates sentenced to death. Gruesome, but imagine career day at your kids school. “So you are a professional murderer?”
28. Mail carrier - just remember- Sweltering heat, freezing cold, rain, sleet, or snow!
29. Podiatrist- Treat conditions of the feet such as corns, calluses, ingrown nails, tumors, shortened tendons, bunions, cysts, and abscesses.
30. Bomb Squad member - defuses bombs. Okay how crazy do you have to be to want this job. Bomb = run away.
31. SSI case worker- Determine if people are qualify for government benefits. Irate mothers of handicapped kids….ah…. no thanks!
32. Training school employee - Dealing with the kids that their own parents cant control.
33. Fishmonger- invest in cases of lemon juice!
34. Britney Spears personal assistant
35. Proctologist- Entering an exit only place is never a good thing.
36. Garbage collector- Collecting, smelling, and touching all the stuff that other people throw out.
37. Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon - you know this guy hates to see MJ coming.
38. Window washer for a skyscraper- one wrong move and….splat!
39. Mechanic for lift pump chamber at a waste treatment plant- when you flush your toilet, the contents go to this chamber at the treatment plant. If something is clogged or breaks, this poor guy has to go in with a protective suit and mask to fix it.
40. Telemarketer - getting hung up on, cussed out, and threatened all day is not a fun day at work.
41. Exterminators- kill rats, roaches, fleas, ticks, etc.. Toxic chemicals and creepy crawlers all day is just too much.
42. Dog groomer - Aside from the obvious risk of getting your hand bit off, dogs have an anal gland that collects these secretions that smell worse than dog mess on fire. Part of a full groom is the squeezing of this anal gland.
43. Embalmer - drains all the blood from dead bodies. I guess vampires are real?
44. Risk assessor- Lets say Ford has a defective seat belt. This asshole is the guy that tells the company whether it would be more expensive to fix the seat belt issue or pay the lawsuits after people are injured/die from the seat belt.
45. Police divers- diving is supposed to be a fun activity, but these guys aren't looking for lost ship wrecks or tropical fish. They search out human remains.
46. Boxer - how many concussions can you get before your voice sounds like Mickey Mouse and your IQ resembles tree bark.
47. Clinical trial test group- testing medicines, therapies, and surgical procedures that may or may not kill you. If a rat survives then you should too, right?
48. Plus size model- Who wants to admit they are plus size? What is plus size anyway…..anything above size 0?
49. Tampon tester - As much as women hate that time of month, why would anyone want to a have an everyday “time of the month.”
50. Snake milker - Extracts snake venom from poisonous snakes by hand. At least anti venom is close, aye?
51. Fire fighter- fire is something you run away from, not into. God bless them, but I am glad its not me!
52. Gynecologist - what exactly makes one want to look at such all day? Let's not forget that not everyone takes a bath everyday and makes personal hygiene a priority.
53. Weight watchers spokesperson- Loosing weight is hard enough without everyone in the world counting every pound you lose….or gain.
54. Bull rider - I kind of like my teeth.
55. Rodeo clown- Ditto for number 54. Plus, who says to a two-thousand pound bull “come get me!”
56. Circus Contortionist- I would get stuck and forever see the world looking under my own butt.
57. Worm farmer- perfect job for ten year old boys.
58. Fragrance compounder- AKA headache sufferer.
59. Baskin Robins ice cream scooper- gain twenty pounds a day.
60. IRS auditor- easily the most hated person in the world.
61. Repo man- Imagine how bullets whiz by this guys head.
62. Anger management therapist- One wrong word and you may be an anger management victim.
63. Drivers education instructor- Riding with teenagers all day…. don't think so!
64. Air traffic controller- I can barely plot my own course. This multi tasking gurus plot, manipulate, and ensure dozens of planes courses don't collide. This must be one of the most stressful jobs on earth.
65. Wildlife control/ animal control officer- “can you come get the 8ft alligator, that just swallowed my bulldog whole, out of my pool?”
66. Grave groomer- what could be more depressing than hanging out in a cemetery all day.
67. Elvis impersonator- Who could ever be as good as the original? I wouldn't want to know that no matter how hard that I tried, I would always be mediocre at best….compared to the real Elvis.
68. Diamond grader- too tempting!!!
69. Surrogate carrier- all the work of being pregnant for nine months, but none of the reward.