Acquired Call Center Syndrome

Multinational companies around the globe (especially the US) are now building their empire outside their country to expand their businesses. They've come up with a solution of taking care of their clients more by outsourcing jobs thus, came the call center era. Here in the Philippines, if you stroll around Ortigas, Makati and Eastwood - these places are called CBD or Central Business District - you'll recognize who is a call center worker or a regular employee in a company. Try to look into the lists of symptoms of Acquired Call Center Syndrome or ACCS and see if you guys working in a call center fit to be diagnosed. Hehe!

1. You get absent-minded whenever your friends talk to you because of the abnormal body clock you have from work.
2. You always speak in English wherever you go and people look at you like you're some retard (take note of the irritating, trying-hard American accent that they always try to use).
3. You learn how to smoke, smoke and smoke and drink lots, lots and lots of caffeine just to stay awake. Your eyes have become saggy. For some, they've become drug addicts (I don't know but some agents I know do take some).
4. You learn how to curse and say bad words just like Americans do even if you're just cursing on simple things (doesn't apply to some agents though).
5. You get irritated whenever you go to a store when you try to buy something that's been delayed (see now you know what's the meaning of CUSTOMER SERVICE).
6. You've become a flab because on some call centers you can eat while you're taking calls. Oink, oink, oink!!!
7. When you get irritated to some customers, you learn the trick of releasing calls without being caught (Oh yeah! Even if your calls are recorded).
8. Agents walking around the streets of Makati, Ortigas and Eastwood have jackets on even if the sun is prickly hot (stupid, isn't it).
9. Agents have the newest cellphones and ipods, ps2, etc. and wear the newest fashion..
10. People working in call centers starts to be dumb because they do their work in a routinely manner and they get stressed out.
11. For women, most of them get pregnant with their co-agents (tsk, tsk, tsk, single parents in this industry is becoming a trend).
12. They get paid more than a regular employee even if their work is extremely dull. Moreover, they become labeled as “call center hoppers” because they like to transfer from one call center to another. AWOL is not much of a bad record in the call center industry.
13. When you answer the phone at home, you tend to say your opening greeting when you take calls at work e.g.” Thank you for calling Chenelyn Chenes this is Churva Churvalei . How may I assist you today?” This is without doing it in purpose, hahaha! What a dork!
14. You keep on whining and talking about how this particular call went even during lunchtime (take note these agents are speaking in English with full American accent, haha it's so funny really).
15. You learn how stupid Americans are with basic troubleshooting of computers, cellphones, internet connections, etc HAHA!
16. You try to take a nap at every possible chance you can get and doesn't have enough social life.
17. You realized that the clothes you had before can still be useful in call centers e.g. school uniform, prom dress, beach wear, etc. because they have this weird trend of wearing these kinds of clothes at work. The supervisor will announce, “Hey guys it's beach wear next week so I expect everybody to participate!” While taking calls you're in your bikinis in a fully icy cold airconditioned call center floor. Haha just kidding!
    UNLI IN DA PILIPINS! Nyahahaha!
18. You meet different kinds of people like emos, smarty pants, girl - next - door, boy - next - door, sluts, skanks, nice, kind, shy, etc.
19. You get intimate with your co-agents and eventually becomes your soon -to - be spouse. Or you your relationship with your significant other tumbles because of conflict of schedule, especially if your partner is not working in a call center. Plus, you become an adulterer. Sucks for you both!
20. Finally, if you have all these or at least 5 of these lists then you've been INSTITUTIONALIZED. To know the meaning of the word “institutionalized”, go and watch “Shawshank Redemption” and try to find how Morgan Freeman used that word in that movie.

This is according to my own observation and of course with the help of people I know who work in call centers. I know that some people working in call centers may not like some of the “syndromes” but this is to only convey humor or if it's not funny enough for others, just to have some few facts about how the culture of the call center industry looks like here in the Philippines. There are more “syndromes” to add but you'll just get tired reading it all so I just gave you the basics.

Enjoy!