First try to show up about 3-4 minutes late and tell the interviewer that you're still in another time zone from your vacation last year. Then offer him or her a limp handshake all the while keeping your other hand in your pocket. What you're doing with that hand I'm not going to say, but it will look a little odd.
Then start talking a little too loudly and tell the interviewer a couple of awkward jokes, making sure to laugh very loudly at your own witticisms. You can follow this with some personal details about your love life, or lack of one.
Have your mother call during the interview to give you a reference. While she's on the phone telling him just how wonderful you really are. Make sure that she also tells the interviewer that, "he'd better hire her baby!"
Call the interviewer Dear or Sweetie and be sure to do a little flirting. Make sure to tell them that you're not afraid to sleep your way to the top.
Chew bubble gum and dress provocatively. this can work whether you're a man or a woman. Be sure to blow a few bubbles while you're at it.
Take a personal phone call and ask the interviewer to please be quiet while you're on the phone. Be sure to talk loudly and do a lot of laughing while you're on the phone.
If the interviewer has any family photo's be sure to compliment them by saying such things as " wow, she's really hot." You don't have to say anything crude, it's more how you say it than what you say.
Smell your armpits and then wrinkle your nose with a disgusted look.
Ask for a drink and complain loudly and bitterly when they won't serve you a cocktail. Be sure to tell them that it's been almost 24 hours since your last drink. By this time they will be more than ready to get rid of you.
If they still want you after all of this, then you might as well take the job because it's probably the only one that you'll ever get.
