I remember when my dad brought home our first calculator. It was the size of a notebook, had big, clunky keys and tiny little red lights. But it was fascinating. It could add and subtract, divide and multiply at the blink of an eye. It could even spell BOOBS.
Ahh, those were the days. Back when Atari and Apple IIe with BASIC programming was state of the art. Back before iPhones, text messaging, bloggers and OnStar. Imagine actually using a coat hanger to get your locked-in keys out of your car.
So I hereby designate the third Wednesday of every second month a technology holiday. Put in your Outlook calendar and e-mail all your friends. Here's what you should do to make the experience worthwhile:
- Don't open your e-mail. Harken back to the days of yesteryear and write someone a letter. Put a stamp on it and drive to the post office to put it in a mailbox. Stop at a lemonade stand along the way.
- Shut off your cell phone. That's right, you can do it. Don't take a call. This will be much more difficult for sub-18 year olds than Generation Xers, but it needs to be done. OMG! No text messaging! Call people on a rotary phone, just for old-times sake. LOL.
- Unplug your cable TV or satellite. No SportsCenter or 1080i. Try to figure out what the television program is through the snow. Then shut it off and read a book.
- Listen to AM radio. Turn on a baseball game and listen to the crowd noise, the crack of the bat, the sound of the pitch hitting the glove. For real adventure seekers, keep score.
- Eat real food. No non-fat, antibiotic free, organic tofu. Eat some bacon. Real mashed potatoes. Black coffee (no triple non-fat sugar free latte).
There's other things you can do, but don't overdo it. Pace yourself. Be sure to notify your boss, family, friends and neighbors of what you're doing lest they call the funny farm. But won't it be fun? Won't it be relaxing?
Probably will drive me nuts...
