Miami, FL - The cafeteria of the Pentagon is completely silent. No one there wants to talk about it. You could hear a pin drop in the hallways of the White House. We could not even find someone there to interview. The only thing NASA is saying is "no comment." In fact, the only person talking is Miami native Susan Meeks, who, in a news conference early this afternoon, released that she had been part of a plan to fake the Apollo moon landing.
“That whole "landing on the moon" thing,” Susan said with a grin, “that never actually happened. And the space station. That didn't happen either.” When asked how it had been faked, Susan replied, “Well, it's not exactly hard to fool the people in this country, is it? People have thought for years that Elvis is dead, and I know for a fact he's alive. I saw him myself last week.”
Meeks, who is about to release her first book, titled “Things I Know For Sure,” kept the news conference short, refused to answer any of the questions with a straight answer, and when backed into a corner on any of her outrageous claims, simply replied, “well, I guess you'll just have to read my book.” The critics of Meeks say just a crazy old bat trying to sell a few extra copies of her fabrications. Meeks insists that the fake moon landing and the fact that Elvis lives “is just the tip of the iceberg.”
Astrophysicist Larry Giles, a professor at the University of Berkeley, isn't buying it. “This woman doesn't know projectile flight from a ham sandwich,” he said in a heated interview. “She spends a year and a half as an administrative assistant at NASA, and now she thinks she's and expert on everything related to spaceflight. I know a fraud when I see one, and when I look at Susan Meeks, believe me, I see a fraud. One big, ugly fraud.”
When asked about only being an administrative assistant, Meeks agreed that she had, in fact, only been a secretary at NASA, but went on to say, “I don't know what my job title has to do with anything. Maybe I was only an administrative assistant, but I did work at NASA. Has Professor Giles ever worked for NASA? No. So, surely I know a little more about space flight than he does.”
Meanwhile, countries around the world have restarted their moon landing programs, just in case Susan Meeks is on to something. “Don't get us wrong,” said a prominent official who spoke only under the condition of anonymity, “we think this women is a complete nut job. And we mean 100% USDA Grade-A Crazy. But if she isn't,” he paused, “well, let's just say we don't want to get caught with our pants down.”
Back in Miami, Susan Meeks is still selling books. “It's all explained between these two covers,” she says as she holds up a copy of her book. “Just wait until you hear what really happened during the Philadelphia Experiment.”
