Now that the government has bailed out the “Hole In The Wall Street Gang”, it's time to get down more important issues. Like, “Bring Your Daughter To Work For The Day” - good idea, or bad idea? I say, “Good idea.” That way your daughter can see all the exciting opportunities there are waiting for her in the wonderful world of business, plus, she'll get a better understanding how Mommy has to deal with so many buffoons, eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty weeks a year, and why she doesn't really care, when she gets home, to hear how little brother Timmy gave daughter Jessica's Barbie doll a buzz-cut.
So, yes, the concept is a good one, but as with all good ideas, there must be some concessions. For instance, not every branch of the business world needs Mommy to show daughter how the operation works.
Parent: Okay, honey, this is Mommy's office and this is a report that mommy has been working on for six months. I'm going to let you run it through the copy machine for me. Here you go. And this is the rest of the office. Any questions?
Daughter: Just one. Why does your copy machine shred the paper into long strips like that?
See what I mean? Some restrictions should apply. I believe men are also encouraged to bring their daughters to work. Once again, not a good idea in all circumstances.
Parent: Okay, honey, this is where daddy works at the “Let You Down Easy Funeral Home.” Here at “Let You Down Easy” we like to treat the deceased with respect. You know, show them the same dignity and reverence they deserved when they were alive. Any questions?
Daughter: Just one. Can I play jacks on this old blue guy's chest?
Again, let's be a little more cautious when we dream up these days of interest.
Of course, not all daughters had that far to go to see where their parents work.
Parent: Okay, honey, this is the office that I work out of. As you can see, the office is not oval as the name of it applies. But, this is where I meet with foreign dignitaries and celebrities from the world of entertainment and sports. I also create and help develop existing ideas, foreign and domestic, to make this country the greatest country in the world. Any questions?
Daughter: Just one. If this is the office you work out of, which office does Daddy work out of, Mommy?
Now, at the risk of sounding sexist, I think the day should also include bringing sons to work as well as daughters. However, let's remember that as in the above scenarios, some restrictions apply and batteries are not included.
Parent: Okay, honey, this is where Mommy works in this big department store. Any questions?
Son: Just one. Do I have to have a Maybelline makeover?
Parent: Be quiet and don't move while Mommy applies the foundation.
In conclusion, I would just like to remind people who think up these ideas of creating special days like this, you're on the right track and I know I'll be looking forward to that day in June when we celebrate, “Bring Your Chia Pet To Work For The Day.” Other days of interest may include, “Take A Convenience Store Manager To Literacy Class Day,” “Talk Back To Your Boss Without Repercussion Day,” and my personal favorite, “Take A Person Who Cuts You Off And Blow Out Their Tires Day.” I also look forward to the day I can bring my daughter to work.
Me: Okay, honey, this is what I do. I write a column by using other people's ideas and take them to the limits of absurdity. Any questions?
Daughter: Just one. And they pay you for this?
