Here are ten excuses for not going to work:
- I've got a doctor's appointment to have my head examined. How do you expect me to finish ten reports in two days?
- I'm suffering from a serious illness. I have cubicleitis. It's quite contagious and very confining.
- My family's pet turtle just died. The funeral is today. You're invited to attend.
- My car broke down. My wife is already at work. I can't afford to take a cab. I would walk, but it might strain my hernia. I'll be back to work tomorrow.
- I know that the big inspection is today, but I'm really being counted on to participate in the Great Bocce Ball Tournament
- I threw my back out. I can't move more than a few inches. I was barely able to reach the remote control.
- My doctor told me to stay home today. I'm suffering from the 24-minute flu. The symptoms are as follows: upset stomach, nausea, vomiting, red rash, tiredness, and extreme gassiness.
- My driveway has ten inches of snow. Isn't it amazing? My neighbor has only half an inch. I have the worst luck in the world.
- Someone stole my blouses. I have nothing to wear. You wouldn't want me to come into work and file a sexual harassment complaint. Would you?
- I'd love to come into work today, but we are expecting a very special guest. Britney Spears is coming to our house. It really is true. I'll get you a signed autograph. I promise that it won't be a fake autograph this time.
