Both candidates want to reduce spending. Here's a few places they could probably cut back.
The Bridge to Nowhere: The State of Alaska (Pre-Gov. Palin) asked for, and received from congress an earmark of $223 Million to build a bridge. In fairness, the bridge was not “no nowhere” but to an island with a booming metropolis of fifty people and an airport. You might be forgiven for wondering why the Federal Government would pay such an amount for vehicle access to a place whose population triples every time a plane lands. Congress eventually zeroed out the fund, changing the monetary allocation to: $148 Million for general transportation improvement in Alaska (them's some expensive sled-dogs…) with a whopping $75 million left for that ridiculous “Hurricane Katrina Relief” that the folks in Louisiana kept squawking about.
Were Sure It's Here Somewhere: According to a 2003 Treasury Department report, the Federal government identified $25 billion (that's with a “b”) of money that could not be accounted for. You read it right. Our government misplaced 25 Billion dollars in 2003. The government hopes it will turn up soon in the pocket of some jeans they have not worn in several years.
That not Peanuts: The Pentagon reports that between 1997 and 2003, it paid for, and FAILED TO USE over 250,000 commercial airline tickets. That's understandable. When a standing military of several million people are moving constantly throughout the world, stuff happens, right? The punch line here is that the government never pursued a refund for these FULLY REFUNDABLE tickets. That's about 100 million dollars worth of “free money” for the airlines, compliments of the US government (you). Think about that the next time you are on a plane paying eight dollars for a tiny bottle of vodka. (BONUS: In 27,000 cases in 2002-3, the DOD paid TWICE for tickets, paying for them directly and then compensating the travelers for the cost of the tickets…another $8 million misses the runway and cartwheels into a fence)
This time the Government got Screwed: Air Force and Navy Personnel used government-funded credit cards to purchase the following: gambling, entertainment (concerts, etc), cruises, exotic dance clubs and prostitutes (who I did NOT know took credit cards) Cost to the American Taxpayer: about $300,000. Sexually Transmitted Diseases: Priceless.
Go, Y'Hicka Unicorns: In 2002 the Education Department certified a college in England called the Y'Hicka Institute. They authorized $55,000 in financial aid grants to several students. The problem? (besides the fact that the school was located in ENGLAND) The Y'hika institute doesn't exist. Congress created the school and the students to test the Education Department's verification procedures. We'll have to give them an “F” for that. Go "Corns!!!
We Knew They Were Going to Do That: In 1995, the CIA and Pentagon gave $11 million to a program that paid psychics for information about future foreign threats. We"re not kidding. The program was called “Stargate.” While unsuccessful in predicting war in Bosnia, the 9/11 attacks, the bombing of the USS Cole and many other events, the psychics did report that Elvis is alive and playing in a Nirvana tribute band with Jim Morrison, JFK and Bigfoot.
Very Expensive Overalls: Since Lyndon Johnson's War On Poverty in the 1960s, the US government has spent $6.2 billion on the Appalachian Regional Commission to relieve poverty ion that region. Results: West Virginia (the state with the highest number of Appalachian Counties) currently has the third-highest rate of impoverished children in the nation, and boasts 7 of the poorest (based on per-capita income) in the whole nation. Makes one want to squeal like a pig….
…Short and Stout: In 2006, congress earmarked $250,000 for the Sparta Teapot Museum in Sparta, South Carolina (pop. 1118) Sounds like a real tea party…or pot party…we got a million of "em! Tip the waitresses…try the veal….
9. And Tiger Woods Smiles: This year"s Defense Appropriations bill includes $3 million to the “First Tee Golf Program” a program whose mission is “To impact the lives of young people by providing learning facilities and educational programs that promote character development and life-enhancing values through the game of golf.” We feel safer already.
We Thought Studying Was A Good Thing: Over the years, the Federal Government has spent Billions of dollars of taxpayer money funding studies on every phenomena under the sun. Some of the expensive and meaningful conclusions:
Ugly people are more likely to be criminals than non-ugly people
Cocaine and Heroin are bad for you (especially if you also have AIDS)
Porn sexually arouses Women (some dude got PAID to test this)
Aspartame doesn't cause cancer (good to know since its been FDA approved it off-and -on since 1973)
There is not enough parking space for trucks at Travel Plazas
Half of all teens have had oral sex (the other half…no mouths)
Abstinence-only programs don't work (see above)
Allowing same-sex marriages in California will increase government revenue by $68 million
