You're going to do your civic duty and vote. The line is very long, but you came prepared. Here are ten things to do while you're in line to vote:
- Talk to strangers in back of you and in front of you. Plan on doing a lot of small talk. For example, have you seen all the foreclosed homes in your neighborhood? I wonder if Sarah Palin's ever had plastic surgery. Can I come over your house for Thanksgiving?
- Plan on reading a book like War and Peace. You can also read Time Magazine, Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue, and the obituary column of your local newspaper.
- Read all the campaign literature that you picked up as you were entering the building to vote
- Look at your watch every thirty seconds. Be careful with this suggestion. You just might get a neck cramp.
- Complain out loud about the long lines. Tell everyone that your feet are killing you. Tell everyone that if you don't vote soon, you'll end up going to the bathroom while in line. You just might get pushed to the front of the line.
- Scratch your head, adjust your tie, blow your nose, and other quirks to drive everyone around you nuts
- Feel your forehead and tell everyone that you are sick and about to pass out. You just might get a pass up to the front of the line.
- Tell the volunteers that they are doing a wonderful job. Offer to date the cutest worker in the group. Don't be shy. There may be one volunteer that is under 65 years old.
- Start sounding like a sports announcer and give play-by-play coverage of the voters in the room. Describe the tensions and anxieties in the room.
- Polish your nails if you're a lady. Polish your forehead if you're a guy. Offer to give free massage therapy to anyone in line. Do some palm reading or some hand writing analysis. Go ahead and be creative. You've got two hours to kill.
