20 Signs You Need a New Kitchen
by NICEM , Aug 21, 2007
How do you know when your kitchen is a danger to the environment?
At night, you have to lock the bedroom door so that you don't get caught in the crossfire during a cockroach and rat turf war Your wife only enters the kitchen in a biohazard protection suit You have to hide the knives so that the refrigerator doesn't try to kill itself again The garbage piles and scraps frequently breathe deeply and snore You start sinking when you walk in the kitchen Guests are given gas masks When you leave vegetables in there, they melt or they turn bright colours You don't have to put the medicine or cleaning agents in high cupboards. The children won't even enter the kitchen. You don't need dustbins anymore. You just feed it to the kitchen. When anyone tries to wash the dishes, they are dirtier than they were to begin with When your children get naughty, you threaten them with food from the kitchen In your house, kitchen is a swear word and whenever it is said, you vomit uncontrollably The Government use your kitchen to produce uranium You hired cleaners to clean the kitchen. When you showed them where to clean, they vomited and ran out the house screaming. You bought a fire hose and tried to hose the kitchen, but the garbage piles just ate the hose Your dog went in there once. Your whole family is still looking for it. To make the kitchen look nicer, you bought a new table and chairs. When you came back, they were on fire. The police use the food in your kitchen to make bulletproof armour The State Government uses your kitchen instead of an electric chair. They just leave the criminal in there and the noxious fumes kill him. Your dishwasher insults you regularly
