Two blondes were walking in the park. One of them saw a mirror and picked it up. When she looked at it, she screamed - “I am so UGLY!!!”. The other one took the mirror, looked at it and said - “Sure, you are!”
A blonde, a redhead and a man crashed on an uninhabited island. The blonde built a raft and fled the isle. The redhead built a submarine and left the isle. And the man used the
bridge
An old man goes to the doctor.
-Doc, how much longer will I live?
-Do you smoke?
-No..
-Do you drink alcohol?
-NO!
-Do you go out with women?
-At my age, doc, this is impossible!
-Why do you want to live longer then
A conversation between a gangster and his wife:
-Honey, why are you putting a silencer on your gun today?
-I will work in a library
Near a police station all the cars drive with 120 mph at limitation of 50. A small, crashed car is the only one to drive at 30 mph. The police officer stops it and asks:
-Where are you sneaking to
A Ford Fiesta passes by a police station. The police officer stops in the last moment, the driver of the car presses the brakes as much as he can, the tires are melting, and when the car finally stops, the officer goes to the driver. The driver, still shaking, asks:
-Wh.. what is it?
-Hmmm…I considered buying a fiesta like yours, but people told me that its brakes aren't quite good
The teacher says to the students:
-All dumb people to stand up!
Nobody did so. At some time, Tom did.
-Why did you stand up?
-Well, I felt remorse that you are standing up alone and decided to join
