Okay, I am going to start out by saying that I am fully aware that not everyone likes blonde jokes and some people are even offended by them. I will also say that I am a natural blonde and have always loved blonde jokes. If you do not like what I have to say you can always click on that little X in the top right hand corner of the screen, you know the one in the red box. Yes, that's it. Click on that and this screen will close and you don't have to read any further. Just kidding. I do not mean to offend anyone, I just happen to like being blonde. Here are a few reasons why.
Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo, Don't Worry, Be Happy
This little piggy went to market........ wait, no, that's not it, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, being blonde! Okay, so, being blonde, I never have to come up with an excuse for doing something dumb. My excuse is built right in! It's simple! It's a blonde thing! At the same time, people expect you to do or say something so totally blonde that when you open your mouth and talk about politics in the Olympics you get to enjoy the stunned looks on their faces!
How many other hair colors have this many jokes about them? Really! I have always loved blonde jokes and know a lot of them by heart. Some of them are dirty, some not. I heard a lot of them in high school and some from my dad! Here's an example that not every body I tell it to has heard. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? Wait for it.......... You can slap a mosquito and it will stop sucking. Okay, I'll admit that was a little dirty. How do you get a blonde on the roof? Tell her the drinks are on the house. Ha Ha. Yeah, I know, that's an old one. So anyway, there are so many blonde jokes out there, in fact, I think the only other people that have the same amount if not more jokes about them is rednecks!
How many of you know a brunette or redhead that really should be blonde? I do! I do! I once worked with a couple of women who did or said some pretty ditsy things and they were both brunettes! We worked for an after school program and one day we lost track of time and forgot to have the kids put the toys away from the playground. When everything was put away we told our supervisor what had happened, she looked at us, grinned and said, "I know Christy's blonde but what's your excuse?" Of course we were all laughing about the whole thing. We had walky talky radios that we used to call for students when they were going home. We would put out an all-call for a student and whoever was in charge of them would respond and send them to the playground to meet their parents. Many times we would start out great only to forget who we were calling for. Like this " This is an all call for ummmmmm, uhhh, wait, Jacob, to the playground please. He's going home." Invariably we would get a call back " Sorry, I don't have ummmm with me today."
People say that old age causes forgetfulness. So does a lot of air in the head. I am forever walking into rooms and forgetting why I went there! I walk back out, remember why I went there, go back in, and forget again! It must be some sort of pressure change in the room's air or something. I once asked a question of somebody twice while on the phone. Realizing I had already asked the question once I apologized saying it was a blonde thing. The guy started yelling at me that not all blondes are dumb, etc., etc. He must have been blonde. Anyway, does anyone else hear that? I hear a hissing sound. What is that? Do you hear it too? OMG! I think I've got an air leak! Somebody stop it! Help! I'm starting to lose my grip on the keyboard........... I'm slippping away. goodbye everyone........
