When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
Chuck Norris sweats actual bullets. He never uses them, he doesn't have to.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
If you show Rock and Chuck Norris shows Scissors, Chuck Norris wins. Chuck Norris always wins.
The hammer was crafted after Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris' money shot can actually be counted in $10s and $20s.
Never run away from Chuck Norris. It only draws his attention.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris' immune system can fight off third world countries.
Chuck Norris's stereo isn't measured in watts. It's measured in horsepower.
Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal, Hulk Hogan and Mr. T are the only men alive capable of stopping terrorism. They don't because they are too busy sitting around in their Bad-Ass headquarters sipping raki and talking about who snapped the most spines in Nam.
Chuck Norris once scored 211 with 3 darts.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as one of the lead roles in Brokeback Mountain but had to be replaced after breaking 72 backs during the first day of shooting.
Chuck Norris's latest idea for a TV programme is 'Celebrity Ass Rape'. Everyone thinks its a good idea, and Pat Sajak is first.
