Visiting Iran? North Korea? Please, use caution, and keep your arms and legs and heads inside the vehicle at all times. Better yet... don't go in the first place!
Lost children will be caught and executed. If you lose your children, for the love of god, don't go looking in the reactor.
If your family develops third eyes, tries to chew the computers, or their limbs grow to the size of a gorilla's and grow the same amount of hair, you should probably put on a radiation suit
If your husband/wife/children/friend etc. pick up a plutonium rod that glows with a greenish tinge, back away slowly then pull the fire alarm.
If your husband/wife/children/friend etc. pick up a blue plutonium rod, ask them where they got it and if you can have one.
If you happen to see a man in a turban and a beard running away from the reactor, you should probably follow suit
If the red light above you flashes and the klaxons wail, lie on the ground and assume the fetal position
If the walls of the reactor are made of 1cm thick plywood, turn around and ask, “Okay, where's the real reactor? Who's playing silly buggers then?”
Don't go for it if they ask, “Who wants to refine uranium? No radiation suits for the over 10's!”
If they want to give you free packets of uranium, politely decline, go around the nearest corner, and run away
If the sign above the entrance says “Nuclear Reactor/Fire Station” then underneath it, it says, “Because it saves time.” Just turn your car around and drive away. Just don't bother.
Make sure you look out for humongous mutated creatures
If you feel a slight stinging sensation, and there aren't mosquitoes around, check the palms of your hands. If they are growing hair, go to the closest hospital around.
Remember that Marie Curie's husband, Pierre Curie, died of radiation poisoning. Just in case you don't know, they discovered uranium.
And the final big one, as much as cartoons would like you to think, radiation, radioactive waste, plutonium rods, and that sort of stuff, will not give you superhuman powers
