Fifteen Doom and Gloom Chinese Fortune Cookies

This list of humorous fortune cookies may make you laugh and weep at the same time.

Most fortune cookies are upbeat. They make you feel good inside. They make you think about your values and the values of others. They provide pearls of wisdom. On the other hand, some fortune cookies are pessimistic. Due to the state of our economy and the hardships facing our future, I have put together a list of fifteen fortune cookies that forecast doom and gloom in your lives.

  1. The hole in your pocket will now be joined by the hole in your wallet
  2. A penny saved may be a penny earned but a million dollars saved may all be gone tomorrow
  3. You are a credit to society. Unfortunately, your credit is now in danger.
  4. Foreclosing your home does not mean that you should foreclose your mind
  5. Don't worry about being trapped in a cubicle. You'll soon be gone from your job.
  6. You are about to go on an unexpected journey. The nearest homeless shelter is two miles away.
  7. Charity begins at home. Unfortunately, your home is being foreclosed.
  8. Invest in the future provided you still have any funds left to invest in
  9. We may be in a recession, but your spirit is in a depression
  10. An apple a day will not keep the bill collectors away
  11. If you roll the dice too often, you may have a gambling problem
  12. Love thy neighbor, but don't get caught by your wife
  13. A passion of heat will not replace a broken furnace
  14. The only property that you will ever may be found in a Monopoly game
  15. Never take a leap into your safety net. It just might rip apart at the wrong moment.
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Comments (1)
#1 by NA Staffieri
Oct 23, 2008
This is why I don't get Chinese Fortune Cookies. My fortunes are always this gloomy.
Good list, as usual.
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