The Alien Joke:
There was an alien, who landed on Earth. It wanted to learn more about the Human language. The Alien, disguised as a young boy, enters a classroom of five year olds. The teacher asked the class, "Now, who has finished there homework?". One of the boys yelled out, "Me me me me...".
The alien caught the words. Next it disguised itself as a man, and went to a restaurant. It sat at the table and watched the waiter explain a child what the utensils were, "These are forks and knives"! The alien caught the words "forks and knives", then the alien disguised itself as a cowboy and went to the rodeo. Over there he heard a cowboy yelling, "Yeeeeeeeeehawww!" The alien caught those words too. The alien disguised itself as an ordinary man and went to the airport to learn new languages in a new country. It saw a man who had just been killed.
The police arrived to the scene and asked the alien, "Do you know who killed this man"? The alien replied, "Me me me me"! The police were astonished and then asked it how he killed him. The alien replied, "Forks and knives". The police arrested the alien and told it, "You're going to prison"!!! And the alien replied, "Yeeeeeeeeeehawwww"!!!
French Joke:
A French man was on a date with an English woman. The French man didn't know a word of English, and his girl friend told him to go and learn. The French man went to the air port to travel to England, there he heard a woman saying "Take Off" as the plane was ready for take off.
The man caught her words and decided to stay in France and learn English hear. He then went to a Zoo where the Zebra section was very popular. He went there and asked a fellow French man what that creature was called in English. The answer was "Zebra". Learning that word, the French man went to the Hospital. He saw all the babies in the hospital. One of the ladies said, "My baby"! and the French man caught the word "Baby".
On his next date he tried to impress his girl friend by speaking in English and he said, "Take off ze' bra baby!"
Town Joke:
There was a group of friends. There names were Somebody, Nobody, Mad, and Brain. Somebody and Nobody started a serious fight, and Brain had to go to the toilet bad. Mad called the police and told them, "Somebody and Nobody are fighting"! "Are you MAD"! said the police. "Yes I'm Mad." replied Mad. "Where's your brain, son?" asked the police. "Oh, he's in the toilet right now!" replied Mad.
Indian Joke:
An Indian man got married to an English woman. She couldn't bear it when he spoke in Hindi and so wanted to teach him English. She told him to learn the word "Yes" for today. The man went to the pet store and the shop keeper asked him if he wanted to buy a pet. He said yes and he had a new cat.
He then went to a boxing champion, the champion asked the man, "Do you want a punch?", the man said, "Yes" and then returned home with a bruised left eye. His wife told him to say "No" for today. He went to the petstore and the guy asked him if he wanted a pet and the man simply said No. He went to boxer and the boxer asked him, "Do you remember the punch from yesterday?", the man said. "No" and in anger the boxer punched him again.
The Indian man returned home with a bruised right eye. His wife now told him to say "Thats very nice" for the rest of the day. The man skipped the petstore and went directly to the boxer. The boxer started crying and said, "My mom passed out". The man said, "Thats very nice." and returned home without teeth.
School Joke:
A teacher told one of the boys in her class to right down five English words for homework. He went home and asked his brother for help, his brother said, "You are stupid." He wrote that down. He then went to his mother who was sleeping. She said, "I'm gonna spank you right across the face". After righting that down he went to his dad, who was fixing the car. His dad said, "Oh man, my wheels broke!!".
Then the boy went to his grandpa, who was bathing at the moment, and his grandpa said, "I can't feel my bottom"! Then the boy made a last stop to his grandma. She was talking on the phone and when he asked her she said, "Shut up"! The boy went to class and his teacher asked him to tell her the words. He said, "You are stupid". The teacher was so angry that she told him that she'll take him to the principal's office. Then the boy said, "I'm gonna spank you right across the face"! The teacher got furious and held him by the arm and took him to the office. On the way the boy said, "Oh man, my wheels broke".
Now the teacher had to drag him there, and once reaching there the principal asked him, "What do you have to say for yourself"? And the boy said, "I can't feel my bottom"! The principal expelled the child and the boy said, "Shut up"!!!
Airplane Joke:
An Indian man was eating paan (Betel Leaf), and had to spit it out. He asked the air hostess where he can spit his paan out. She told him that if he goes further into the plane he'll find a red button that he had to push and a dustbin will appear. He went deep into the airplane and saw an Indian Woman and she had a red dot (which represents beauty) on her forehead. He poked it and she screamed (her mouth was opened, duh). He spit his paan inside her mouth.
