1
Three women died and went to heaven. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead.
They got to the pearly gates and God said: There are 1000 steps up to heaven I will tell you a joke on every fifth step, if you laugh you are doomed to ****. So the brunette goes up and laughs on the 505th step. The redhead goes up and laughs on the 670th step. The blonde goes all the way up to the 999th step and laughs. God says: Why are you laughing? I didn't even tell a joke?
She says: I know… I got the first one.
2
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back
3
Earnest: Knock knock.
Susie: Who's there?
Earnest: Panther
Susie: Panther who?
Earnest: Panther no Panth I'm goin' Thwimmin'!
4
An old man and his wife bought their first cell phone, One day the man went out. On his way home on the freeway he decided to call his wife with it. She answered and he said: hey honey I'm calling from the freeway! Honey that's great. She said. But you better watch out the news said their was some nut driving the wrong way. One nut? He says. There's a bunch of 'em!
