In the classic story, Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf, two of the little pigs are either eaten up by the wolf or find save haven at the third pig's home. In any case, it doesn't pay to make the wolf angry. Here are ten things that a little pig should not say to the big bad wolf:
- Hey wolf, why don't you go see Red Riding Hood instead? She's got a lot of meat on her bones
- Hey wolf, how do you like my aluminum siding? I also installed unbreakable glass in my windows. What do the initials TNT mean?
- Hey wolf, your mama is so fat that she could be mistaken for my cousin Leroy
- Hey wolf, don't you think that it's time that you quit smoking? You're going to huff and puff yourself into the grave
- Hey wolf, your teeth really are dull and yellow. Are you brushing after every meal? You sure could use a mouthwash or at the very least a Tic Tac.
- Hey wolf, you can't eat me. I'm not kosher.
- Hey wolf, you have a bad case of dandruff. I think that you really need to use some dandruff shampoo on your fur.
- Hey wolf, why don't you go see Mary? I hear that she has a little lamb. Wouldn't you rather have lamb for supper instead of a big, fat pig?
- Hey wolf, you're so ugly that they had to cover your face when putting your picture in the Farmer's Almanac
- Hey wolf, why don't you go over to the next county? If you're lucky, you just might run into Porky Pig. Anyway, “That's All Folks.”
