A Disastrous Date: What Not to Say

Dating has been apart of human nature for centuries. In general a date consists of a meal and entertainment. In the past it was typical for the man to pay for the expenses but 21^st century dating has become more relaxed and it is common to “Go Dutch” and split the cost of the expenses. However relaxed a date might be though, you can never let your guard down. Here is what you need to avoid in order to have a successful date.

What Not to Say to the Parents When Picking up Your Date:

1. "Sorry I am late; I had to stop by the Drugstore." Don't be too honest with the parents. In fact if at all possible, lie.
2. "I just go my license today." Even better than lying is just keeping your mouth shut.
3. "So... does your wife just lie there during sex also?" That would be pretty funny if you said that so maybe you should say it just to see what kind of reaction you get.

What Not to Say to Your Date:

1. "Your eyes look baggy. Are you tired?" Bags suck. Don't comment on her facial features except for eyes.
2. "That's a strange name." That doesn't make someone feel good. Unless its one of those strange names that is really cool like Astrid.
3. "When is the baby due?" Just don't say that.

While on the Date:

1. Offer to pay the bill using a JC Penny gift card. When you get denied pull out your Footlocker membership card.
2. Excuse yourself and tell her "I got to drop a deuce."
3. Afterward insist on her walking home by herself because it is the opposite direction as your place.